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Choosing a name might be premature, but…

If this procedure with an estimated 85% chance of failure miraculously works and I have a girl, I’m for sure naming her Tricky Cervix. I know, I know, total Porn Star name. But that way every time someone asks her about her name (How interestingIs it a family name?), she can tell the beautiful story of how it took two nurses to get her daddy’s sperm all up in her mama the day she was conceived. Of course, if you ask me, the issue was not my excellent and beautiful cervix, but rather the incompetence of Nurse Idiot. This was the same nurse who miscalculated the day of my insemination (Dude. It’s not hard.), and when I saw her coming at me, I was pretty bummed. Fortunately she didn’t poke me for too long (though long enough for me to start thinking, How many of my husband’s sperm just DIED, you bastard!) before calling in someone with more experience. So. Me = inseminated and badly in need of two week’s worth of distraction.

9 Comments Post a comment
  1. Tricky Cervix, cool. Very modern! And if it's a boy?Sorry to hear about the incompetent nurse. That's not what one wants when one's legs are aloft. Twit!Much much good luck. This could be it! If only we could will it to be so.

    February 5, 2010
  2. JB #

    Infinite good luck emanating (wafting? hurling? diffusing?) your way.And if it's a boy, Tricky Dick. Problem solved!

    February 5, 2010
  3. Wooohooo! Bring it, Tricky Cervix/Dick! Lots of luck and a warm hug to you, my dear! 🙂

    February 5, 2010
  4. I find the progesterone pills very helpful in the 2ww. As soon as I take them (and this is 3x a day, mind you), I'm out like a light for anywhere from 1-4 hours. Not sure how helpful this will be when I have to return to work on Monday, but it's doing the trick for now! Glad to hear your inseminated. I'm sure the very strongest survived that ordeal.

    February 5, 2010
  5. You've been basted!! And how is it, I wonder, that exactly the people you don't want all up in your cervix (nurses from hell, mistake makers) are the very ones who appear wearing the plastic gloves and swinging about that precious cargo? I like Tricky Cervix (Trixie, for short?). Here's hoping that 2 weeks are over in the blink of the eye (or, because I realize that this isn't too likely…that you have LOTS of good things to distract you). Thinking good thoughts.

    February 5, 2010
  6. Hahahahaha! I love "Trixie" for short :). Nurse Idiot sounds fun – I've had a couple dumbasses during u/s and exams and I've always been tempted to just give them a good kick in the head. Never have given in…but I've wanted to.Keeping my fingers crossed! Hope these next 2wks fly by!

    February 5, 2010
  7. Alright, you are i-ed up! 🙂 I am hoping with all my heart it becomes k-ed up in two weeks. Let the countdown begin!

    February 5, 2010
  8. JC #

    Love the name, it's beautiful. I'm hoping the stupid nurse got some good ones up there and you are KU in 2 weeks! Hope the 2 weeks fly by for you too. =)

    February 5, 2010
  9. Tricky Cervix – it's got a nice ring to it!! Hope these next two weeks fly by!

    February 5, 2010

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