High jinks in same-sex parenting
Today I heard two things from couples of my acquaintance, and they are only possible in the world of same sex parenting, so…it’s a whole big gay theme over here. The first is garden variety kids are so cute. G., the three-year-old adopted daughter of some gay friends, doesn’t understand what mommy means. She hears it most often from her small peers when they are upset about things, as in moooommmmyyyyyyy, Bunny stole my crayons! She thinks it is something you say when you’re upset, like, I don’t know, FUCK! That totally cracked me up. I want to go around saying mommy when I’m pissed. MOMMY! I stubbed my toe!
The second tidbit may convince you there are worse things than being infertile. Like being stupid. A lesbian I knew in grad school contacted me because she’s starting a new job and wanted to ask some questions. In the course of conversation, she revealed that she is pregnant with twins. Her partner, meanwhile….is pregnant…with twins. I didn’t ask how the HELL this came to pass. I can imagine all kinds of scenarios, but the most plausible ones involve someone being unethical somewhere. I mean, it’s got to be IUI at the least, right? ‘Cause everyone who has twins has them via ART, right? So there’s got to be an RE in there somewhere, and what RE would agree to inseminate both members of a couple? What the FUUUUUUCK!!!!*
I swear, my claim that these people are stupid doesn’t just stem from envy that this ho bag gets FOUR babies. Because, honestly, four babies + no partner who hasn’t just been through childbirth + new job = nothing to be jealous about. Except babies.
Speaking of babies, have I mentioned how much I HATE waiting around to have a shot at conception? This morning I was trying to trick myself into a more positive view by thinking things like, A year from now I’ll either be pregnant or be on my second round of IVF. Since I’ve lived so much of my life thinking about a year from now (a year from now I’ll be…in grad school / finished with coursework / defending my dissertation / going on the job market / coming up for tenure…) this does make the time seem shorter. I mean, I’m already planning plenty of things that will take place a year from now. On the other hand, I know from experience that a year from now I could be in some all new hell. I could be without a uterus. I could be having another surgery. I could be dealing with miscarriage. So I don’t mean to tempt the fates by pretending I know what the options are. HEAR THAT, FATES? I guess I just mean…MOMMY! Waiting around to have a chance at pregnancy SUCKS!
*Those of you with more generous natures will probably come up with explanations that totally make sense and don’t require anyone to be stupid OR unethical. I’m just a jerk.