A wonderful day filled with unicorns and flowers. Oh, and a rainbow.
If that title led you to expect a cheerful post, this must be your first visit. Go away. You won’t like it here.
At today’s department meeting, my colleague with the pregnant wife held forth on the topic of How Terrible His Life Will Be When the New Baby Arrives. Now, I kind of hate this guy already. He’s really loud and aggressive and British. The latter feature is not a reason I hate him–in fact, I’m one of those creepy Americans who loves British things. But that way you can imagine a really annoying British guy. He loves to say patronizing things to me, perhaps because he’s older, though he’s a year behind me tenure-wise. Or maybe just because he’s an asshole. Hard to say.*
(I also feel compelled to note that he’s just emerged from a terrible cancer scare with one of his two young boys. The child was really dreadfully ill, though seems to be okay now. So I’m a bastard for talking smack about someone who has been through what I can only imagine to be one of the most hellish experiences available to humans. Okay, did my karmic duty, now back to hatin’ on him.)
This guy has an enormous house (seriously, it’s got multiple WINGS), a wife who doesn’t work so is presumably free to do some occasional childcare, plus a nanny, and a housekeeper, and all the other fixin’s of life with oodles of cash. So while I know that a new baby is a tiresome object, I can’t imagine that he’s really going to be all that put out. At least, not compared to the average person. Meanwhile, the moaning and kvetching quickly spread to other people with kids. Oh, yes, how terrible it is to be a parent! Soooooo glad that part of life is over! I wanted to run screaming from the room. Usually I can brush that kind of thing off, but today it really got me. It’s so grey and cold and crappy here, and I just feel hopeless. This surgery, which is still a million years away, isn’t going to help. IVF won’t work. I’ll die childless. Hopefully as soon as possible. That kind of day. Plus, just as I was feeling grateful to Lupron for sparing me a period this month, bleedy bleed bleed. This shit is awesome.
So, um, I’m going to go buy four or five candy bars from the vending machine and eat all of them very rapidly.
*I realize it may not be the smartest thing in the world to post rude things about people in my department, but I’m just gonna cross my fingers and hope he never gets wind of it. I mean, my main reason for attempting anonymity (other than to protect my husband, who is not interested in people knowing about our deal) is so I can talk smack about my job and friends, so I can’t hold back, can I? I just operate on the I observe your privacy, you observe mine principle.