Frocks and mocks
Frocks. I bought a new spring frock last week in one of those pathetic efforts to feel good about myself. HA! It’s super cute, as I’m sure you’ll agree, but it did make me wonder: How much longer can I get away with wearing girlish dresses? (Let’s just assume for the sake of argument that I currently still CAN.) And, more important, How will I know when my time is up? I like to think I have a pretty good mutton-dressed-as-lamb-o-meter, but presumably all those scary fifty year olds wearing low rise jeans think the same thing. My husband is no help. He’s never yet told me that something looks terrible on me (though many things do!), so I’m left trying to discern some gradation in the level of enthusiasm with which he says, You look nice! Nor does it help that I spend my time surrounded by undergraduates, thus have a distorted sense of the age/fashion relationship. Maybe this is one of those things that’s mysterious until it happens to you. Like one day I’ll wake up and just know in my heart it’s time to start buying elastic waist pants.
Mocks. I was searching the interweb for myomectomy success stories (as one does), and stumbled across the following:
hi i had a myo in [year] and now im pregnat wid my 3rd child unexpectedly so it is possible.
Okay. Guess what. You don’t deserve to be pregnat wid anything. Sorry to be so judgmental, but seriously, you suck, total stranger who I’m sure is a good and lovely person. You already have kids! Plus, you are capable of becoming unexpectedly pregnant! And most important, you can spell unexpectedly, but not WITH. Or PREGNANT! (This from someone who finds at least one typo in every post the moment after she hits publish, but let’s not focus on that.)
Hi, I had the myo in [year]. I am 34 and now a full week late for my period. I hope I’m pregnant, but wanted to know if anyone had any similar experience.
Let me chime in here. No, thus far I have not had the experience of being 34, though I expect to soon. I have also not had the experience of being a full week late, but…TOP TIP: pregnancy test. I have most definitely had the experience of hoping that I’m pregnant. Hope that helps!
I’m so lucky to have found a community of people with not only a mastery of English but also an understanding of how to resolve the question of whether or not they are pregnant. I clasp you to my overly-youthfully-dressed bosom!