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Frocks and mocks

Frocks. I bought a new spring frock last week in one of those pathetic efforts to feel good about myself. HA! It’s super cute, as I’m sure you’ll agree, but it did make me wonder: How much longer can I get away with wearing girlish dresses? (Let’s just assume for the sake of argument that I currently still CAN.) And, more important, How will I know when my time is up? I like to think I have a pretty good mutton-dressed-as-lamb-o-meter, but presumably all those scary fifty year olds wearing low rise jeans think the same thing. My husband is no help. He’s never yet told me that something looks terrible on me (though many things do!), so I’m left trying to discern some gradation in the level of enthusiasm with which he says, You look nice! Nor does it help that I spend my time surrounded by undergraduates, thus have a distorted sense of the age/fashion relationship. Maybe this is one of those things that’s mysterious until it happens to you. Like one day I’ll wake up and just know in my heart it’s time to start buying elastic waist pants.

Mocks. I was searching the interweb for myomectomy success stories (as one does), and stumbled across the following:

hi i had a myo in [year] and now im pregnat wid my 3rd child unexpectedly so it is possible.
Okay. Guess what. You don’t deserve to be pregnat wid anything. Sorry to be so judgmental, but seriously, you suck, total stranger who I’m sure is a good and lovely person. You already have kids! Plus, you are capable of becoming unexpectedly pregnant! And most important, you can spell unexpectedly, but not WITH. Or PREGNANT! (This from someone who finds at least one typo in every post the moment after she hits publish, but let’s not focus on that.)

Hi, I had the myo in [year]. I am 34 and now a full week late for my period. I hope I’m pregnant, but wanted to know if anyone had any similar experience.
Let me chime in here. No, thus far I have not had the experience of being 34, though I expect to soon. I have also not had the experience of being a full week late, but…TOP TIP: pregnancy test. I have most definitely had the experience of hoping that I’m pregnant. Hope that helps!

I’m so lucky to have found a community of people with not only a mastery of English but also an understanding of how to resolve the question of whether or not they are pregnant. I clasp you to my overly-youthfully-dressed bosom!

18 Comments Post a comment
  1. Mastery of English grammar, spelling, and syntax is so underrated these days. Too bad it counts for nothing when it comes to baby making!I also worry that I dress too young. I'll be 30 in May, but I'm quite petite and young looking, and I'm not sure the clothes I wear don't add to that. Being this short, everything kind of looks little-girly on me. I guess when I'm finally a wrinkled, grey hag I'll wish I still had this problem.

    March 30, 2010
  2. Yes isn't it great to find a community of non-retards who are desperate to get pregnant? Wow, I remember back when I thought that was an oxymoron… I LOVE you guys. Also, I currently live in southern california, land of dolled up muttons, so I don't know what you are talking about– no one here would get those pull-up pants and pin curls if their life depended on it. I was just kidding yesterday!!! Don't let the Lupron infect your brain. You ARE young. And low rise pants (with the thong showing out the top of course) got *nothin'* on that cute (although I admit, not ageless) frock. I say stop wearing it when you start needing to hide the saggy folds of flesh on your knees. In a about 20-30 years.

    March 30, 2010
  3. JB #

    Idiocracy, people. It's really a threat. We are being outbred by toothless hill people with not even a rudimentary grasp of grammar or spelling. But they do, apparently, have internet connections and a basic ability to navigate the series of tubes that make up the interwebs. Just another reason why IF sucks donkey nuts.

    March 30, 2010
  4. ASP #

    I love, love, loooove that dress! And, gasp, I'm 34! Is it from Anthroplogie by chance? Please share the details as I would β™₯ to pay you a visit on the same day you're wearing yours. Seriously though, please share where that cute piece of fabric is from! I think you'll just know when you're too old for stuff. Like as much as I would love to go parading around in a "Team Edward" shirt, I know that my 34 year old ass is too old for that. You can find some real doozies (oh gosh, did I spell that right?!) on the ol' Information Highway. When I was thinking that I was going to have the myomectomy done, I think I was more scared at the stuff I was reading from message boards than the actual facts about the procedure. Hence, I never had it done but that's besides the point. My surgery wasn't a necessary thing, and right now I'm happy that I didn't because it wouldn't have guaranteed that I would have gotten pregnant anyway. My eggs are the biggest problem as I'm finding out mainly with this cycle. Now if only I could have an ovary transplant or something. Hmmmmm, I may be onto something. Seriously though, thank you for all the positive comments, Mrs. Glum πŸ˜‰ I'm looking forward to rooting you on through your upcoming surgery and cycle (notice I didn't put an "s" on cycle πŸ˜‰ Hugs! xxx

    March 30, 2010
  5. I have the same problem with message boards – you get a lot of feedback, but very little that actually relates to your own situation, and most of it misspelled and grammatically incorrect (not that I call myself a grammar expert anymore – my writing level has gone downhill with every year out of school). Ahh, if only our ability to construct a proper sentence gave us a leg up on the reproductive front… I have been in the in-between fashion world for a couple years now. I can't always pull off the young fashions (nor do I always want to), but I am not interested in pleated highwater pants and frumpy shirts. I say if you like the way it looks on you, screw what anyone else thinks!

    March 30, 2010
  6. I admit, my grammar is appalling. I spent some time with professor internet yesterday confirming what I already know about transitive verbs and whether or not I could use the word "ruing." Not that ruing in context would have made sense to my reader, but I like to pepper my corporate communications with hearty Middle English vocabulary. I write boring marketing copy for a living which breaks all sorts of grammitcal rules for the sake of being conversational. I am forever tainted, but will still apologize as all of you folks notice my comma splices (you and your fancy semi-colons1). I have to say that I've thought of boycotting a period just on prinicple one day. I steal from a friend who is not being PC when she says that those people are fabulously retarded "fabtarded" in the way that they can offend you with spelling and content simultaneously. Otherwise, rock the frock missy. I'm a few years older than you and I'd still consider that age appropriate, so there.

    March 30, 2010
  7. heehee. this post gave me a really good *chuckle* just now :o)

    March 30, 2010
  8. I bet the dress looks great but like you I sometimes wonder if my sensibilities are off, surrounded as I am by many young things. Judging by the photo, though, this dress is not babydoll or baby anything. So I say it's a go:)I have cursed many a spelling-challenged internet questioner. My personal favorite? Yahoo Answers. Where you can find gems like, "My boobies hurt and I did sex with my boyfriend 2 weeks after my period…could I be pregnant?" I would say it's almost an absolute certainty myself. I really need to lay off the google searches (and yet it's a habit that I find impossible to break because one of these days I'll happen across it: the site that tells me all I need to know and contains the secret to getting pregnant. According to the websites I frequent, it isn't Mountain Dew).

    March 30, 2010
  9. That's a very cute dress and I'm sure it looks great on you.Aaahhh the lovely spelling and grammar of the internet. It's just full of opportunities to mock.

    March 30, 2010
  10. Al #

    love the dress, and I'm sure it looks great on you.And to the "pregnat" woman? Barf. She {and all of her spelling grammatically challenged friends} are the reason I don't go to message boards. How can I trust anything a "pregnat" woman is saying?

    March 30, 2010
  11. Very cute dress! I like it. I say if you feel comfortable in it and like it that is all that should matter. I hate dumb pregnant people who can't spell right.

    March 30, 2010
  12. I wore braided pigtails today. I had an excuse (it was a "spirit day" and I work with kids, so it's basically in my contract to do things like wear pigtails now and then) but I had the same mental conflict. When I was in my 20's I used to love wearing pigtails. They looked cute and kinda snowboarder-chick-like. I feel that at 32 I just can't pull it off anymore, unless, of course, I have to for my job. But today I secretly loved wearing them again. I think you can rock that frock. Also, if your husband says it looks nice AND your blog friends like it, it's surely a winner.

    March 30, 2010
  13. A couple of years ago my husband gave me a tshirt that says, "Bad grammar makes me [sic]." I loved, loved, loved that shirt, until it shrunk up into midriff-bearing length, at which point I felt I was too old to be wearing those types of tees. Oh well. The dress is adorable, and I don't think you'll age out of it this decade. πŸ˜‰

    March 30, 2010
  14. If you got it, flaunt it! One of my few consolations with IF is having the figure to dress a little young (though I'd give that up in an instant!). It's a cute dress, and I'll bet you'll look smashing.I tend to be a late tester when it comes to HPT's (too many disappointing BFN's), but I could never wait to be a week late.My friend N always says, "Friends don't let friends Google medical information." πŸ™‚

    March 30, 2010
  15. I adore the dress. If you are comfortable in it then wear it proudly.Plus, what is wrong with being "pregnat"????

    March 31, 2010
  16. Love the dress! So perfect for Spring! Pretty, color, too. What is the brand?Oh my gosh, the moronic message boards are one of the main reasons I started blogging! I couldn't take it anymore. For every one insightful comment, there were 20 completely nonsensical ones. At least they can make us laugh!PS the SIRM discussion board is really good if you're looking for success stories/advice

    March 31, 2010
  17. I like the frock!As for the mocks.. well you were spot on there, made me feel all tense reading it and reminds me why I've tried so hard to stay away from the bulletin boards. Although I do have one thread that I comment on every now and then which is only for woman who have been ttc for more than 2 years…. You tend to find that those people who are in that box can at least spell pregnant and don't ask such stupid questions.

    March 31, 2010
  18. As usual, you have brightened my day with your humor and wit. πŸ™‚ I have almost totally banned myself from message boards. So much misinformation. (They do NOT have RE degrees from Google like we do!) So much spelling of the word "with" as "wid." I HEART YOU BLOGGIES! That dress is super-cute, perfect for spring. I am betting you look great in itβ€”it's youthful and classic, not teeny-bopper and trashy.

    March 31, 2010

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