Seventy six degrees!
In honor of the amazing weather, I ditched work in favor of planting some seeds. I spent the morning preparing my little garden bed, getting the manure worked in and slaughtering hundreds of earthworms. Sorry, earthworms. The past few summers have been weird weather-wise, and have resulted in a less-than-bountiful harvest. Hopefully this year will be better, as I would like some aspect of my life to be fruitful. If I can’t have a baby, I should at least get lots of radishes.
While I was finishing up, Mr. Bunny’s friend arrived with his wife in tow. The wife naturally drifted over to me. We’ve hung out a few times and I don’t really get her. She’s completely incoherent, for one thing. She’ll start telling you a story and wander off into some bizarre other story and…you never get anywhere. I can’t be friends with someone with whom I can’t carry on an actual conversation, so that’s kept us from becoming more intimate. But I’m fond of her in a strange way. I know it’s partly because she’s been very open about her multiple miscarriages. She’s 38 and has four kids (with her previous husband), so the issue is presumably egg quality. She’s had six miscarriages in the past two years, one of which happened at 20 weeks. Once with twins…She keeps trying because Mr. Bunny’s friend really wants to be a father. I’ve never talked to her about my situation, so when she asked me how I was doing, I thought I’d see if maybe she was someone I could open up to. Recurrent loss is different than infertility, and both are different when you already have children, so maybe I shouldn’t have expected that this conversation would result in major bonding. I got to hear a super rambling story, the message of which turned out to be God Has A Plan For You. As I’ve said before, I don’t find that message to be comforting, Or, you know, meaningful in any way. And then she suggested that I might be unable to conceive because I’m too thin. Which I’m not. And then she told me that she’s pregnant at the moment. It was nice to hear that from someone and not feel at all distressed by it. I hope this is the one for her. I can’t imagine enduring all that pain. But…I’m sorry to report that she is not going to be my real life infertility friend. That position will just have to remain open.