In which I pass for one of THEM
My office is across the street from the hospital associated with Mediocre Institution. As it happens, my route to work takes me right past the maternity area. So my morning typically involves seeing numerous pregnant women waddling their way to the entrance for checkups or giving birth or whatever it is they do in there. (I also get to walk past my clinic. HI, CLINIC!) Most of the time this just starts my day off with a little low-level angst, though certainly not enough to make me take the long way around. That route is even less scenic, as it involves the hospital loading dock and what I suspect are the incinerators. I’d rather have pregnant ladies. So imagine me walking down a long, wide sidewalk with pregnant women comin’ at me. Feel free to imagine them all pixilated, like an early version of Space Invaders. (Feel free to imagine me being super beautiful while you’re at it.) On my recent trip to the office I was making my way down this sidewalk a bit slowly, perhaps with a slightly odd gait. And I was wearing a dress in the baby doll style, because it was comfy. Because my abdomen was swollen and distended.
So up waddles a pregnant woman.
She makes eye contact.
She looks at my belly.
She smiles a smile of camaraderie and shared joy at me.
I wonder if this is as close as I’ll ever come to having that we’re pregnant and it’s so awesome experience.
I shoot her with my laser canon and reach an all time high score.