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Totally tubular

Tubes are clear, uterus is as shapely as ever!

I must say, though: HSG number two hurt like a motherfucker. This surprised me, as my first one was painful but not unbearable, and this was before I’d had various things thrust up my cervix, so I expected to be much more of an old hand. Perhaps it was the fact that the catheter fell out and had to be reinserted three times. I made a bunch of pathetic noises. But I kept telling myself: If you can’t handle this, you had better stop trying to get pregnant STAT.

My RE noticed my tattoos (again), and said, I guess you used to be a little bit wild! I don’t know, man. What counts as wild these days? Probably my wildest activities would be classed as some species of Victorian prudery by today’s kids. His little efforts to put me at ease are always such failures. He likes to ask how my grants are coming, how worried I am about getting tenure…always the most relaxing topics!

After today, I can’t imagine wanting anything near my lady parts again, but should that change, I think I’ll just chance it. Using condoms feels too ridiculous, and I’m probably not even ovulating according to my normal timeline.

Finally, in case anyone gives a shit, below is my mix CD. I tend to like multiple songs by the same group on a mix (God knows why, when there’s so much awesome shit I could be putting on there), and you should know that my husband’s tastes are waaaay folkier than mine, that he’s not into punk, and that he doesn’t like U2. I know. I married him anyway. He has other redeeming qualities.

I hope at least some of you have marginally tolerable weekends. I realize that’s a lot to ask, but I like to challenge you. Reach for the stars and all that.

Semi-Charmed Life / Third Eye Blind (Takes me back to a time when I liked to have SEX!)
Gimme Sympathy / Metric
Bigmouth Strikes Again / The Smiths
Wenn dein Herz zu schlagen aufhΓΆrt / Wir sind Helden
Hey Jealousy / Gin Blossoms
Train in Vain / The Clash
Porridge / The Woggles
Swallow my pride / Ramones
The Wake of the Medusa / The Pogues
Help I’m Alive / Metric
Wenn es passiert / Wir sind Helden
Everything I Build / The Stills
The Lion Sleeps Tonight / The Tokens
The Card Cheat / The Clash
Stormy Weather / Pixies
Sweet Mary Jane / Ramones
Gin and Juice / The Gourds

23 Comments Post a comment
  1. Yippee for the HSG. I would hate to have another one! "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is one of the favorites of our foster boys. They call it the "Wenoep" song. Great playlist!

    May 27, 2010
  2. Woooohoooo for clear, sweet tubage! πŸ™‚ Sorry to hear that HSG2 was such a bitch, though. I absolutely loathed my HSG experience, more than my egg retrieval, if you can believe that. I think it had more to do with my relative newness to the RE's diagnostic jazz than actual physical discomfort, but it seriously BLEW. Love your mix, too! (Isn't that Metric album fucking awesome? If I hear Stadium Love, it's stuck in my head for the rest of the week. I would love to see them live. πŸ™‚ And that Gourds cover is a total hoot, hehe. I also love the song about everyone missing the sun–the hubs actually put this song on his beach trip mix for us a couple of weeks ago.

    May 27, 2010
  3. *Everybody's Missing the Sun, track 2 from the Gourds' Shinebox. Just looked it up. πŸ™‚

    May 27, 2010
  4. O-KAY, great, so the redneck video didn't freak you out too much… I'm still recovering, myself! :)I don't know why you had to scare me with how painful the HSG is. Should I insist on being prescribed a handful of vicodin beforehand??? I'm thinking yes.Have a great weekend with lots of guilt-free (and hopefully non-painful) sex!

    May 27, 2010
  5. JB #

    I forgive your husband's musical weakness, on account that he's okay with the Pogues ("Lorelei" is in my top ten of all time favorites) and the Pixies ("U-Mass" is a work of art).Oh, yeah, and huzzah! for good-looking tubes and ute…now you're free to get your freak on, tattoos and all.

    May 27, 2010
  6. my hsg was the worst experience of my life. it hurt like a mofo bc my cervix wouldn't open. she would not OPEN, so the grumpy doctor with VERY BAD bedside manner says to me "i'm going to PRY your cervix open" and then my response was "omg, i'm gonna FREAK OUT!!!" (never mind that i already was freaking out), and then doctor got all mad at me.would you not freak out if a doctor said he was going to pry open anything between your legs?? the actual "prying open" was awful. i wanted to die. and i was very surprised to hear that dh didn't hear my screams from the waiting room.with that said, i'm sooo glad you hsg is over and that you're alive!!!happy guiltfree sex-ing this weekend and have a lovely lovely time in pittsburgh!!

    May 27, 2010
  7. Nice work on the tubes, although sucks that it hurt. I think that they should give everyone vicodin and valium (can you give both, or does your heart slow down and you die?) when they walk into the RE. Just as a matter of course, because you know that something is either going to hurt like a bitch or be really upsetting. Drug me up before anything shitty happens to me.Have a fab weekend! Enjoy the ', you can so say "fuck" on my blog comments. I just felt very potty-mouthed very briefly, but usually I don't give a shit.

    May 27, 2010
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    May 27, 2010
  9. **Reposting as I included a coworkers name with my cut and paste of the link, he likely doesn't need to be on IF land blogs.I had heard that the tubal dye study was a bitch and a half. Lucky for me they put me out for mine since they were doing about three different procedures.Speaking of how crazy kids are these days, I just had this article sent to me – its insane: wonder if evolution is making each generation MORE stupid than the last and if so, should we really be procreating at all? πŸ™‚

    May 27, 2010
  10. Sorry the HSG was painful, but glad your tubes were clear! I love your mix :).

    May 27, 2010
  11. I'm sorry you had such a painful HSG, but very glad for the clear tubes! Have a great weekend away.

    May 27, 2010
  12. You rock for living through that hsg. I'm sorry it was so painful, but yea for having clear tubes.

    May 27, 2010
  13. I suck for not giving you any song recs. How did I miss that post? Okay, for your NEXT roadtrip, please add Josh Ritter ("Change time") and Edward Sharpe ("Home") and Jenny Lewis ("Godspeed"). Awesome driving tunes. (And commuting tunes, should your next mix be one for your walk to campus.)I'm SO HAPPY your tubes and uterus got the all-clear!!!! And I'm with you, condoms just seem silly at this point. Have a great weekend away and I will do my best to follow your orders and reach for the stars and all that. Hopefully the discovery of a cyst in baseline monitoring doesn't ruin that awesome plan. πŸ™‚

    May 27, 2010
  14. Hello-lo-lo-lo-lo! (In case you're wondering: that's the lovely echo through Bunny's clear tubes:) So glad you're clear but sorry it hurt. Have a fabulous time in Steel City!

    May 27, 2010
  15. Al #

    Ugh, I'm sorry that the HSG is over with – but YEA for it being over with and clear tubes!! Great news :-)Have a great time in Pittsburgh!!

    May 28, 2010
  16. Oh, I'm so sorry that was a painful HSG. I wasted days worrying myself into a frenzy, and it was really just a little uncomfortable and nowhere near as ouchy as your sounded. On the bright side, I've heard that painful HSG's hurt because something is clearing out, so I really hope that was the case for you.I'm curious now about "Wir sind Helden." I was a Germanophile once upon a time, and judging from the rest of your mix, I feel like I can trust your musical taste.

    May 28, 2010
  17. Phew! Good tubes. Sorry about the pain, that sounded awful. Poor bunny.I am going to investigate these musical bands you speak of (peers over reading glasses in vague direction of USA) – I might even be dragged into this millennium! Have a great trip.(Medical professionals are always cack-handed with the distracting conversation, are they not? I've heard some corkers! We should write a book.)

    May 28, 2010
  18. Glad the HSG shows open tubes, but sorry it was painful. I'm pretty sure one HSG was enough for me. Sorry you had to do it twice. Ick.Thanks for sharing the playlist – I'll definitely check those out!Um…if my RE commented on my tattoos I would probably give him a really dirty look.

    May 28, 2010
  19. Your REs idea of small talk is… interesting. I'm sorry that the HSG was so painful, but yay for the clear tubes! Now have a wonderful weekend! Yesterday I listened to some song that came out years ago, and it immediately reminded me of the times when I was much more care-free than nowadays…

    May 28, 2010
  20. Congrats on the beautiful shiny uterus and crystal clear tubes!! All systems are GO!

    May 29, 2010
  21. Lol at your RE and his small talk. Good grief. Your RE asking you about your grants is like the head of the P&T committee asking about your HSG. Some things just shouldn't overlap!

    May 29, 2010
  22. I'm with gingerandlime, this RE needs remedial training in appropriate bedside conversation! Congrats on the clear tubes, and I hope you had a great time in Pittsburgh.

    May 31, 2010
  23. I realized I didn't respond here. OH the horror! No U2? What planet is your hubs from? You have a love that is deep and strong to survive such an affront to the gods of rock and roll. ;)I think I posted at some point to say that I'm a music nerd and not a music snob. I'm sure your hubs folksy hippy crap is lovely. HA!My husband looks right past my love for Skid Row and I tolerate Rush, but letting him listen to that shit outside. See? I married him anyway, too. Rush. Music to get divorced by in my world. Excellente on those totally tubular beauties. I'm hoping this finds you three sheets to the wind with those wonderful friends who are visiting to keep you company.

    June 11, 2010

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