Skip to content


BFB was over for dinner last night. We were having a perfectly reasonable interaction, when Jane became fussy. BFB started singing to her. Turns out that’s one of the things I just can’t handle, though I wouldn’t have been able to predict it.

It breaks my heart into a billion pieces. I guess ’cause there’s something extra intimate about it, somehow. Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, I had to scurry off to the kitchen to weeeeeeeeep. So, uh, this special public service announcement goes out to the millions of my readers who are normal fertile women: don’t sing to your baby in front of the infertiles. It’s mean. In fact, if you wouldn’t mind just moving into a dark cave until I and everyone I care about has managed to achieve a solid pregnancy (like, 30 weeks), that would be awesome. Thanks.

Meanwhile, if you’ve had a failed IVF cycle, would you mind stopping by hope4joy’s place to offer some support? (I know I don’t need to ask you to visit Adele, because you would anyway.) A big WHY THE FUCK DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO HARD? to those two wonderful girls.

But hey, remember the woman who gave me the VIKING RUNE CANDLE? She’s now 20 weeks into her 7th pregnancy, after six miscarriages in a row. I know that might make some of you feel worse, not better, and I’m sorry for that, but to me it’s a sign of hope.

And on that glorious note, have a splendid weekend! Wear some PANTS!

12 Comments Post a comment
  1. i can totally see how seeing her sing to her baby would be upsetting. you're right, that is way too personal a thing for me to want to see. i can't sing for $hit, so even if i get to the other side, i'll be able to spare others. how good of me!!i haven't cried in quite some time now (weeks, if you can believe) but a good friend just left me a voicemail earlier this week saying that she's thinking of me, bc 2 of our friends just gave birth and another is due any day now. she wanted to make sure i was doing okay with all that's going on with our friends bc "it can't be easy for you right now". thank god for friends like her. someone is actually thinking about ME ME ME right, back to YOU. i forgot about the viking rune candle!! where did you put it in your house? somewhere prominent? do you touch it every day? i'm convinced it'll work it's magic on you bunny!!!! xoxo

    June 18, 2010
  2. AL #

    UGH yes that would have ripped my heart out of my chest…there's something extra intimate and sweet about it that makes it hurt like hell. And I second the notion WHY THE FUCK DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO HARD. So much pain lately from so many great women that have endured too much already. I don't get it, universe. Have a great weekend.

    June 18, 2010
  3. Wow, singing in public is pretty obnoxious no matter what the reason. Suck it, BFB! (no real offense intended, she's YOUR friend, so you should of course be the only one allowed to say a negative word!)I hope things continue to go well for your friend– I think most of us would go through this any number of times if we were guaranteed a baby in the end… but obviously this chick has finally learned the secret- and it's the viking rune candle! Where can I get one?

    June 18, 2010
  4. The singing gets to me too. But also when mothers tell speak to their children in that baby voice that only mothers have and they tell their child how perfect it is (out loud, in front of me). That makes me want to scream and interrupt this private convesation and remind the mother that actually the baby is a little brat that woke her up 3 times during the night.The viking rune pregnancy lady story is a nice one, I'm glad she's reached a safe pregnancy zone. And yes its nice to hear stories like that (although I hope it doesn't mean we all have to suffer 6 m/cs before we get the prize).And yes, Adeles news makes me so sad. I hate this stupid world sometimes. xx Have a good weekend bunny.

    June 19, 2010
  5. Yes, I agree. Bad BFB. It's funny when something upsets you that you really never thought would affect you. I would also like to see all those fertiles move into a cave and stay there. Hmmm. I think I better go and get me one of those candles. (Seriously though, awesome news for your friend).

    June 19, 2010
  6. Yay for Viking Rune Candle lady! Maybe I should reconsider my stance on the VRC.But oh, how I feel for you on the WHY THE FUCK DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO HARD front. For me it's not the singing; it's the moms who parade past my office daily taking their babies and toddlers to Kindermusik class. The kids (the ones who can walk, anyway) usually stop and stare in the office doorway. Sometimes they wave hello. The moms are all younger than I am.

    June 19, 2010
  7. Yes. I just need to get some Vikings on my side, and all will be well. Also feel compelled to point out that I WILL INDEED be wearing pants this weekend! The VERY THOUGHT of being out there getting all draughty! HMPH.(No doubt I am square but I have never gone out without underwear. Something to put on my 100 things to do before I die, perhaps).

    June 19, 2010
  8. I find watching the little bonding moments between mother and child too hard to bear, and am right with you on the "WHY THE FUCK…" part. I'm ready for easy. For me, and for everyone else who continues to suffer.

    June 19, 2010
  9. There are little interactions that I see my friends have with their babies (not the singing but other stuff) that break my heart. One day … one day.

    June 20, 2010
  10. Thanks, Bunny. Hugs to you. And the singing would have completely undone me. I think I might have come out of the kitchen swinging a meat tenderizer – at my own head, but still. Hmmmmm….I think maybe I need to get me one of those Viking rune candles….

    June 21, 2010
  11. I think I would have lost it with the singing as well. Weep and wail, my friend. Viking rune candles, tho. Maybe you ought to become a reseller. 🙂

    June 22, 2010
  12. Oh jeez, I could not have handled the singing. I love to sing. I sing all day every day. I had about four special songs I sang to the m&m in utero. I'd already picked out his/her lullabies. I freaking sing to my future unconceived children sometimes!Yeah, the singing would be rough. I'm lucky that so few of my friends are singers.

    June 22, 2010

Comment. Do it. Comments are moderated, so might take a while to show up.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s