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IT’S MY CHAIR

I’d always wanted a wing back chair, because they are so lovely for curling up in. But I could never find one that didn’t offend my fairly modern sensibilities (plus, most of my life I couldn’t afford to buy furniture). Luckily, they became fashionable a few years ago, so my husband got me one from Restoration Hardware. It’s perfect: blue-green with dark wood legs. It’s my chair, just as the low-backed chair is Mr. Bunny’s. I’m very fond of my chair, even though I don’t spend much time in the living room (where it resides) unless we have guests. Yesterday I was wandering around house tidying things, and saw the chair from across the room. I realized I haven’t sat in it for a while, and this is because when we have people over, BFB* is almost always there, and it’s become her chair. It’s good for nursing, you see. So I get the couch. And I realized that I’ve got all these mental  images and, indeed, plenty of photographs, of her being all MOTHER in my chair. That shit ain’t right, I concluded. So I sat down resolutely in my chair and told myself the following: This is your chair. You will sit in this chair pregnant with your child. You will nurse your child in this chair. You will sit in this chair while your child runs around the house, when he (turns out it’s a boy) leaves for school for the first time, when he tries to sneak into the house as a teenager, when he comes home from college. This is YOUR chair.

Don’t think I actually believed myself. AS IF. But the nice thing about such pronouncements is that I won’t find out that I’m wrong for a few years, most likely.

*Have you started wondering why I’m friends with this person when all I do is complain about her and resent her?  Well, this is a particularly tough year for our friendship, plus this is the place where I come to vent. And to answer Pundelina, I’d say 70% of the time I tell her when she pisses me off, but sometimes you gotta let it go. Or else you spend all your time hashing out your feelings. And I gots drinking to do.

16 Comments Post a comment
  1. Wow, I was just thinking yesterday about lending my sister my hubby's cradle from his babyhood. Then, I realized that I just couldn't – I didn't want the first baby to be rocked in that (other than Hubby of course) to be anyone else's child. And I love my niece! I just knew that the visual of another child in our cradle would stick with me forever.So yeah, totally understand about the chair. Just reading how she was sitting in your spot was making me upset for you! You can love your friend and still need a place to vent about her :).

    June 28, 2010
  2. Jem #

    Heck, yah! That's YOUR chair. Period. You have total rights to it!And I understand about b*tching about your friend. It's your blog, b*tch away!

    June 28, 2010
  3. is it mean that i think you should hide this chair? or just move it to your bedroom whenever bfb is coming over? or you should leave your front door unlocked next time she comes so that you can already be sitting in your chair?? is that terribly mean of me? i guess i'm just a mean person???

    June 28, 2010
  4. A boy? Aw. I can't wait till you have him. For arrive he will, though he may yet turn out to be a girl.Isn't it weird to try to envision the future? My imagination (which usually is fairly active, shall we say) just makes static when I try to visualise an actual child we might have. Phhhzzzzzzzz.

    June 28, 2010
  5. cgd #

    This is a great post and I am in love with the visuals of all the things you will do in the chair down the road. I say you kick people out, breast feeding or not. That chair is only for you and until you are breast feeding your baby in it, nobody else should. There is plenty of other seating around I am sure.

    June 28, 2010
  6. Another excellent post! Damn straight it's your chair. And can't BFB time it so that her little one is just sleeping like a little doll or something when she comes over? I mean DAMN!

    June 28, 2010
  7. AL #

    I hope someday I see a post with a photo of you and your little one in said chair with a link back to this post. Yes, it's your chair.

    June 28, 2010
  8. don't be letting anyone steal your chair bunny! i say you ponder letting bfb shit go, while sitting in said chair, with cocktail in hand. i have similar bfb stories and i think i've come to the conclusion that we'll never be on the same page or wave-length again. and that sucks all kinds of junk but at the same time, i can't change the direction that our relationship is headed. at this point, i'm not sure having a baby would make it any better … the war wounds of IF will always be with me.

    June 28, 2010
  9. You need to embroider a pillow that says something clear like "parking for Bun's bun" or something. Make it big enough to have to move it if you sit in the chair, and written big enough to read each time you have to remove it. If BF has to sit there, at least she'll recognize that she's really in your spot. I'm territorial and weird like that and would probaby move that chair to a different room when she visits. Your chair sounds like a nice place to curl up and read a book.

    June 28, 2010
  10. Yeah, that would totally bug me. Please take your chair back, it makes me sad thinking of BFB nursing in YOUR chair.PS The chair sounds awesome. Looove twing back chairs…love!

    June 28, 2010
  11. I've got you beat in the crazy possessiveness stakes, Bunny. Just a few weeks ago, I found myself realizing that Clueless Preggo will give birth in a Manhattan hospital before I do. And I actually thought, "But this is MY city! I moved here first!"So you claim that chair. Because at least you actually do own it.

    June 28, 2010
  12. OOh, I can't wait until you are sitting pregnant in your chair. Give BFB the boot, make her ass sit on the couch!

    June 28, 2010
  13. I love the fact that you took yourself in hand and cemented your ownership of your chair. You WILL do those things in/from that chair, I personally have no doubt. And I think it's the people we love most that most get under our skins. If you were ambivalent about her, you wouldn't care.

    June 28, 2010
  14. Reclaim that chair! Way to go, Bunny. Now I hope you are doing some serious drinking in that chair, before you can't due to said baby bunny materialising before your eyes.

    June 28, 2010
  15. I'm glad you're mostly telling her dear-Bunny. And I'm sorry that she keeps on being an arse.The CHAIR is for YOU and your little 'uns.

    June 29, 2010
  16. I don't think of you as complaining about BFB… I think of you as just expressing your frustration that she has a baby and you are still struggling. It's not really about her I don't think…As for the chair, it sounds delightful and I can imagine you sitting in it sipping tea and looking down at your feet at your baby who is gurgling on a blanket on the floor beside you. Ah, bliss.

    June 30, 2010

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