Ich bin ein Berliner
Except not any longer, as I’m home. I’m pleased to see that all some of you needed to get knocked up was for me to leave town; if I’d known I’d have left long ago. The trip did not have the same effect on my own personal uterus. I got a big fat NOT PREGNANT this morning. Oh yeah, I remember this feeling of devastation and despair and total non-surprise! Good to have it back.
I’d like to tell you that I had a wonderful trip and didn’t think about babies for an instant, but while I had a good trip on the whole, I thought about babies a hell of a lot. I admire those of you who can put the topic out of your minds, though in my defense, there were a few things working against me. To begin with, babies was the unofficial theme of my conference. All my colleagues were either pregnant, showing me baby pictures, or not attending because of their impending deliveries. IT SUCKED. It made me feel really left behind, particularly because all these horrible women ALSO seemed to be extremely intellectually productive. It’s almost like I just spent two years accomplishing nothing and being miserable while everyone else was having a normal life!
It also turns out that everyone in Berlin is pregnant. (Even the men.) This is stupid, but it was actually depressing to face the fact that it’s not just the entire American population that can have loads of children, but the rest of the world as well. Except for us.
So yeah. That was a rather gloomy travelogue. But that’s my style.
Less gloomy tidbits include discovering that my German is totally adequate. You know, not for elaborate conversation, but for basic interactions, I’m THE SHIT! We also had some tasty food, saw some lovely sights, and, because Mr. Bunny has been saving his miles for a million years, flew first class. Duuuuuuuuude! I’ve never done it before, and…I like it.
Now that I’m home, I’m facing year three of IF. I can’t let it be as bad as year two. I have no idea, let alone any concrete plan, for how to make it better. But at least I have this super awesome resolution. Sweet. While I’m mulling it over, please enjoy these faceless travel pictures.
|The view from our hotel in Frankfurt.|
|Frühstücksetagere! I’d tell you where I had it, but that neighborhood has the largest concentration of bellies ever seen.|
|The universal expression that goes with “This Flammkuchen is way too fucking large! Why is this happening to me?”|