Fifth verse, slightly different from the first
During previous IUIs, I didn’t always obey the instructions on my clinic-provided sheet. For example, the sheet says:
- NO ALCOHOL. Whatevs. I had a drink now and then up to the insemination day.
- Decrease caffeine intake. Whatevs. I drink a latte in the morning. What am I supposed to do–drink half a latte?
- No strenuous exercise. Whatevs. I continued my not particularly grueling workout routine until the insemination day.
But now that IVF is becoming less of a distant possibility and more of a forthcoming reality, I find that I want to do what I can to give this procedure a shot. And it’s not because I want to spare us the expense and the trauma of an IVF cycle. We’ve saved the money, and while I don’t mean to downplay the physical and emotional stresses, I think I can handle it. It’s the fear of reaching the point at which we’ve run out of options. IVF is still that comforting Big Gun right now. Though I know all too well that it’s no miracle solution, it’s still a major source of hope right now, and I don’t know how to handle the prospect of looking forward and seeing nothing to cling to. All the impatience I used to feel is morphing into something else…something more like reluctance.
(Am I jumping the gun here a bit by contemplating this? Yes, but that’s how I work. )
Anyway, I don’t think the failure of IUIs 1-4 had anything to do with those bullet points from my clinic checklist. But, here’s the plan for this cycle:
- NO ALCOHOL. NO ALCOHOL.
- Decrease caffeine intake. Half a latte.
- No strenuous exercise. No strenuous exercise.
At least I’ll be feeling suuuuuuuuuper good when I get my negative result.