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IF 101

In the fall, I usually teach a small class in which I work with a co-instructor. We’ve worked together since my first semester here (with the exception of last fall), but she’s from a different unit at Mediocre Institution, so I don’t see her otherwise. She’s a great woman. She’s also a fellow infertile. This emerged immediately because she’s got an adopted son who is a different ethnicity, and she chooses to explain that up front. She knows about my situation because she’s nosy and kept asking me when we were going to try. (Good to know IF doesn’t cure people of that annoying habit.) So when we started trying I told her, and now it’s pretty obvious that things are not working out.

We just met up for a pre-semester planning session, and we updated each other on the personal front as well. Her husband is dying, so that’s awesome for her, while I’m staring down the barrel of IVF. While I normally prefer to keep my personal life very separate from my professional life, I find that I’m really glad to have someone who knows my situation, and will be sympathetic in a way no other kind of woman could if some weeks I am a complete mess.

On the other hand, she’s also one of those people who got pregnant while finalizing adoption proceedings. Those situations must come with all kinds of complex emotions that I can’t begin to understand, but some of her comments to me do have a slight “just relax” or “give yourself over to God” flavor. So having her know my situation might also be rather frustrating. We’ll see.

IUI tomorrow morning, barring unforeseen complications. I think my egg is hanging out around my appendix right now (I have this whole theory about my eggs never being taken up) so this is all totally pointless, but you know me–I’ll do anything to have my cervix assaulted with the Extra Pokey Catheter.

Also, I won’t torment those of you on fatless, dairyless, wheatless diets any more with photos of delicious delicacies, but those of you who want to gorge your faces on sweets can find recipes here.

17 Comments Post a comment
  1. Tell you what, bunny: I'll add the Yogi nonsense back if you'll keep posting photos. Okay, maybe I'll do it anyway. But I do love me some dessert porn. Best of everything on tomorrow's IUI!

    August 18, 2010
  2. goodluck on your iui tomorrow bunny!!! "just relax" and it'll happen for you (insert *eye roll* here). after you posted that pic of the donuts the other day, i went out and got myself a gluten free donut! not the same as a krispy kreme donut, but did the trick.women who adopt and then get pregnant in the meantime –> i'm convinced it's happen to only 4-5 women in the history of the world, but word has spread like wildfire. so, will assume we're ALL talking about the same 4-5 women that this has happened to. i will now add this to my long assed list of wishes. to get knocked up while adopting (as well as getting knocked up BEFORE adopting).

    August 18, 2010
  3. I hope your date with the catheter goes well tomorrow! Also, your recipe page makes me want to get a deep fat fryer… dammit.

    August 18, 2010
  4. I hope this IUI works for you! I'm in the process of IUI #3 and am feeling every bit of pessimism that you seem to be. I hope we're both proven wrong in the end. Good luck tomorrow.

    August 18, 2010
  5. cgd #

    I am crossing my fingers and toes for this IUI for you. I am sure it will be a better experience for you than mine yesterday.Good luck with the new semester. Your relationship with your co-worker is very interesting. I know I have asked those same kinds of questions as she has, I think I was looking for somebody else in the same boat. I agree with Sienna on the 4-5 people who adopted thing, this is so unlikely and leaving it in god's hands has not worked out so well so far.

    August 18, 2010
  6. Duuude, no punishing the wheat-eaters! I was thinking of you when I put on the bondgirls this morning. I'm sending some kick ass thoughts to your eggs and spermy buds to get IT on. Relax….right…you so didn't think of that. You might explain uterine spikes and perhaps distract her with one of those tarts.Also, I think we might be dessert buds as well. I have not been posting about my sweet shenanigans, but will start. Macarons are the latest and those are dairy gluten friendly even if they are an utter bitch to make them get "feet." post forthcoming.

    August 18, 2010
  7. Good luck with the IUI. I think it's nice that you have a good relationship with your co-worker, but if I have to hear "just relax" from anybody – including your friend – I might just kill someone…

    August 18, 2010
  8. The funny thing to me about the 'just relax' thing is that this last cycle of mine, in which I did manage to jump the hurdle somehow, was the LEAST relaxing of any in the history of the universe. E and I were in a huge fight and I spent the entire fertile window in a crying, snotty, miserable, stressed out rage. So explain THAT, relaxation-proponents!!I am very excited for your IUI, and am very very very hopeful. I think you need to keep eating delicious raspberry desserts to tame those uterine spikes. And thanks for the recipes…

    August 18, 2010
  9. JB #

    Time to light up that magical Viking candle. Also, I love Cook's Illustrated! Their recipes are magical. We also TiVo America's Test Kitchen and watch episodes on the weekends to figure out what to make. (Although I haven't actually seen an episode in a while….hmmm…but we keep the old ones handy). We have the Cook's Illustrated website and magazine subscriptions as well. We are ALL IN.

    August 18, 2010
  10. Slightly mystified by your colleague's occasional lack of tact. As one of Us, should she not be possessed of the delicately honed tact of an international trouble-shooting diplomat? Now hypothesizing that of Our People can actually lose their IF skillz once they manage to jump the fence? Maybe that's it.Never mind that though. GOOD LUCK for tomorrow. Lots of it!

    August 18, 2010
  11. Oh yeah, tots! Just relax and everything will fall into place when it's supposed to when god says the time is right and you will someday look back on this and see what it all meant and there is a reason for everything. BLAH!No seriously, I'm glad you have a friend. But it's RARE to find an IRL friend that truly, truly GETS THIS SHIT. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and praying that your first post-surgery IUI is magical (not the experience, but the results!). Go get 'em!!! Hugs to you Bunny. xoxo

    August 18, 2010
  12. AL #

    Hmmmph on the "it all works out" and "just relax and wait for the universe's plan to show itself." UGH. Sure, it worked out for you but that doesn't mean it will necessarily fall so nicely into place for the rest of us.Best of luck on the IUI tomorrow. Hopeful for you and your shiny new uterus.

    August 18, 2010
  13. Best of luck for the IUI, Bunny. I am thinking of you and crossing everything for you. I am glad you have a an IRL person who kind of gets it, but that whole relax and leave it to "God" thing just makes me throw up. Excuse me while I just go and book a nice long holiday in Bali. That should work.Thank you so much for posting the doughnut recipe – my husband is on orders to make these for our anniversary. Thank you also for the comment you left – you are very kind to be thinking of me. xo A.

    August 19, 2010
  14. I think the next time she talks to you about relaxing or (god forbid) God, you should whip out the Viking Rune Candle and start brandishing it at her.She sounds like she Doesn't Get It. Good luck tomorrow!

    August 19, 2010
  15. Good luck with your IUI! I am currently doing the South Beach diet, so your last couple of posts did torture me. But in a good way. What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment! (Or just a glutton??)

    August 19, 2010
  16. So, naturally, I followed that link. Glutton for punishment that I am:)I know what you mean about keeping your private life separate (and I think this is especially important in teaching where, so often, everyone is in everyone else's business). But it IS good when one or two people in that setting understand. Not thrilled with the "just relax" flavor. It's funny how even those who have been there, who have been frustrated by those comments in their own time have a tendency to repeat them. I hope your date with Extra Pokey Catheter goes well, and that those lovely, smooth uterine walls are ready to roll. I'd like you to be one of those stories of "Well, she was going to do IVF, but lo and behold…"

    August 19, 2010
  17. With a terminally ill husband, yeah, we can cut her some slack on the "just relax" attitude. And by that, she may not mean "you'd get pregnant if you could just relax" but rather "you might as well relax, because stressing out isn't doing anyone any good." Who knows. Or maybe she's stiff-arming her own IF past. Whatever. I hope you can support one another well in what promises to be a personally challenging period.

    August 19, 2010

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