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The state of my uterus

Thank you for all the information about your breasts! I’m fascinated by this kind of amazing variability. And I find it comforting to know there are loads of other women who go through multiple weeks of DON’T-COME-NEAR-ME-OR-I’LL-DIE-painful breasts, all for nothing. (I mean, okay, it’s a sign of our bodies preparing for a possible pregnancy, so it’s not for nothing, but still seems like a fucking ripoff.) But I may have inadvertently suggested that there was something interesting going on with me. Uh, NO. Part of my point was that my breasts are useless as a pregnancy barometer. And also as weather barometer. And as a vegetable peeler. The list of things my breasts are no good for goes on and on. Anyway, to convince you, here’s a quick peek into my uterus. For comparison, I’ve included a peek into the normal uterus.

Fertile WHORES. HAAAAAAAATE YOOU! (Are you are fertile whore? Did I hurt your feelings? Sorry. But why are you reading this weblog? I mean, COME ON.) Also, a subset of wonderful infertile women, for whom I am genuinely thrilled.
Me. Click to enlarge.
23 Comments Post a comment
  1. cgd #

    LOL. These are the funniest diagrams ever!!!! Love it. I had the same thought as you when I put on spanx the other day!!!!

    August 27, 2010
  2. This is awesome! Well, not awesome for you, but it's really hilarious!

    August 27, 2010
  3. and my word verification was "silly". Perfect.

    August 27, 2010
  4. You have the spunkiest oocytes EVAH! That's gotta count for something, right?

    August 27, 2010
  5. that second one looks eerily familiar….our ova are rebels, man! fallopian tubes are for sheeple!

    August 27, 2010
  6. Hilarious. Ah, the train of thought in the 2ww for an infertile. Right on.

    August 27, 2010
  7. JB #

    Extra points awarded for the Dirty Dancing reference. Also, I love that your oocytes have potty-mouth. Mine do, too. (All my vital organs and tissues curse like a sailor.)

    August 27, 2010
  8. AL #

    OMG, I love you. Hysterical.

    August 27, 2010
  9. That is brilliant! And, quite educational. My ostrich approach has left me quite vague about that Whole Part. Why are medical illustrations so.. pink and perfect? I mean, no relation to reality, whatsoever. If I was the illustrator, things'd be different, I can tell you. And maybe a liiiiiittle bit scary.

    August 27, 2010
  10. Thank goodness for you, Bunny. Just when I'm in the pits of despair an oocyte quoting Dirty Dancing comes and lifts me right out of the muck:)

    August 27, 2010
  11. Jem #

    Bunny, you are one twisted chick and I think I love you. Will you have my baby? Oh, wait, I'm not sure that would work out for either of us!! Ha!

    August 27, 2010
  12. Ha! Oh my god, I love you.

    August 27, 2010
  13. LMAO! Great diagrams! Best laugh of the morning!!!

    August 27, 2010
  14. Awesome you are too freaking funny! Love it, just the laugh I needed

    August 27, 2010
  15. Hahaha!! You are hilarious!! Perfect for a Friday!

    August 27, 2010
  16. Oh Bunny, you're hilarious! Thanks for the levity on this day. Have a great weekend. I guess it will be a jean-less weekend for you then, so enjoy the yoga pants or cute skirts.

    August 27, 2010
  17. Buns! Two words for those rebel eggs. Military school. Just saying.

    August 27, 2010
  18. I think I have some of those rebel eggs too– they never figured out exactly where my ectopic went. It didn't seem to be obviously in the tube (but maybe it was?), and it definitely wasn't in the uterus… I think they call it a PUL (Pregnancy of Unknown Location). I'm serious! I hope this sort of cliff-diving isn't what your eggs are doing– but even if so, I am living proof that you can get an obedient one every now and then. Or you can just gestate Junior on your liver… And your diagram is sooo funny!

    August 27, 2010
  19. Your post made me laugh out loud! Fertile Whores!? I may need to work that into conversation this weekend 😉

    August 27, 2010
  20. Omg, I love your version. So funny.

    August 27, 2010
  21. you are too fucking funny! i just love reading your posts! i'm so hoping that you're going to be blogging about being knocked up soon… i really really do.

    August 28, 2010
  22. Bahahaha!Please, please make me one with the egg using a walker or in a wheelchair. About 1/4 of the way down s/he says "Ah, fuckit. Let's just play bridge. Forget the uterus."I love me some Bunny.

    August 29, 2010
  23. Oh this is great! So funny!

    August 30, 2010

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