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Do my eyes deceive me?

At three this morning, I awoke from a happy sleep with a full bladder and a sense of dread. I couldn’t decide whether to end the dream or just take a damn piss. I decided to end the dream. But the dream may not be over. There’s a faint, faint hope.

RIGHT? I’m not just hallucinating because of the early hour? Mr. Bunny is out of town, so I have no one to ask.

I’ve been here before and yet never been here before. I’ve seen this incredibly faint line before, but only three days after my period was due. Then, the ghost of a line told me it was over. Now, it’s 12 days past IUI and I don’t know what this line is telling me. Despite the helpful key on the test. I know, I have a PhD, I should be able to grasp this. But there should be a middle circle with a faint line, reading HA HA! Maybe yes and maybe no! Have fun with that! And good luck getting back to sleep, mothafuckah!

I should just keep this to myself, particularly when I know a) how much seeing this sight can be a punch in the gut in our world (I’m so sorry) and b) how quickly this phantom can vanish. But I can’t untake the test, and I’ll need you if tomorrow’s test shows nothing at all.

47 Comments Post a comment
  1. No, why keep it to yourself? This is making my day! WOW. It's really there, you know.THERE'S A LINE THERE, BUNNY! ARE YOU RECEIVING ME? This is so exciting! Okay, calmness, calmness. Breathing, breathing – proceeding with cautious optimism…

    August 31, 2010
  2. There is DEFINITELY a line there. Don't keep it to yourself!!!I'm holding my breath.

    August 31, 2010
  3. HOLY FUCK. I have goosebumps, Bunny! I have been awake since 4am, and now there is definitely NO WAY that I will be able to drift back to sleep before my alarm starts wailing. (This is me whispering a squeal of nervous excitement: squuuueeeeeee!)I'm with Twangy–deep breaths, cautious optimism.Tomorrow's test? You're going to wait a whole 24 hours before taking another? I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER 24 HOURS, BUNNY. 😉 I need you to go out, buy three different types of tests and piss all over them. Right now. (No, seriously, if you want to wait, please do…just know that I'm on the edge of my joyful seat hoping and praying for you, girl.)

    August 31, 2010
  4. OMG!! There is totally a line there. Your eyes are definitely not deceiving you!! I am with Trinity, there is no way I'd be able to wait 24 hours!!!

    August 31, 2010
  5. BUNNY!!!!! I've seen a line like that before, and the instruction manual clearly said that any second line is a line and it doesn't matter how light or dark it is! Please listen to Trinity and pee on lots more sticks STAT. Or be reasonable and wait 24 hours, but HOLY CRAP, Bunny!

    August 31, 2010
  6. BUNNY!!!! Totally a line. Now you just gotta talk to it reeeal quiet-like, so you don't scare it away, and coax it out of its shell. Wheeeeee!!! I'm so thrilled for you. And hey, you're 12dpiui today? I'm 12dpo. I've never done IUI, so you'll have to educate me: are those two sort of equivalent? See, now I'm glad FF changed my dates around, because now I'm on Team Bunny! Wishinghopingpraying for only wonderful things for you, Mr. B, and that timid little line.

    August 31, 2010
  7. E #

    I see it! Whoo hoo!

    August 31, 2010
  8. OMG, it hadn't occurred to me I could take another one right NOW! I did. Same result!

    August 31, 2010
  9. cgd #

    WOW!!!! WOW!!!! WOW!!! Congrats Bunny. I totally see it too!! YAY!!! So happy for you guys. When can you go in for your beta?

    August 31, 2010
  10. bunny!!!!!!!! you have a baby bunny in there!!!! holding my breath for you that this is what we think it is :o) big big big hugs! xoxoxoxo.

    August 31, 2010
  11. AHHHHHHH! Yes yes yes, that is a line!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!!! xox

    August 31, 2010
  12. That is definately a second line!!! test again! call your RE and demand a blood test, call you OBGYN and demand a blood test hell call your primary care doctor and play dumb–ask for a blood test (can ya tell I've been there before?) Oh I'm so pulling for this!

    August 31, 2010
  13. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!is this a LINE that i see before me?HOLY UNDERWEAR, BATMAN, IT IS!!!!!!!!!

    August 31, 2010
  14. My computer sits on my desk, which sits right in front of the window of my second floor home office. The morning light is coming in, and despite all this light, making it difficult to see the screen contrast very clearly, I SEE A LINE!!!! Girl, after all that naysaying about IUIs, I think ye old Universe may have wanted to teach you a lesson. A sweet, tiny, wonderful, lesson! Ok, ok, I know we need to help you remain calm. So I'm calm. And breathing. Are you? I hope so. Can't wait to hear about more sticks you've peed on, Bunny. Keep us up to date, dear woman.

    August 31, 2010
  15. Definitely absolutely without a doubt that is a second line!! BUNNY!!!!! I so hope this is it for you! Fingers crossed SO hard!

    August 31, 2010
  16. That's a line, bunny! THAT'S A LINE!!!!!! You are, my dear, knocked up, I do believe. Goodbye meatballs, hello baby bunny!!

    August 31, 2010
  17. OH MY GOD!!!!! THAT IS TOTALLY A LINE!!!!! YOU ARE PREGNANT!!! I am SO excited!!!!! YES YES YES!

    August 31, 2010
  18. so exciting! When I saw the title of your post, I got so excited for you.Fingers crossed for you this morning.xo

    August 31, 2010
  19. ohmylawohmylawohmylaw.This is it. This is how it all starts. Holy shit – this is it!Dear Bunny this is magnificent news. Betas – here we come. Heartbeat – check. Uneventful pregnancy where we make fun of how sick you feel – you bet. Easy (but challenging enough for good stories to freak us out) delivery – got it!…followed by busy crib and bliss.

    August 31, 2010
  20. Yes – yes – yes there's a line there!!! Oh, so very excited… Wow, just awesome!

    August 31, 2010
  21. Oh Bunny…I see the line. I SEE THE LINE! There is definitely a line there, HOLY CRAP!!!Wow.

    August 31, 2010
  22. ASP #

    Holy crap, B! It worked!!!!!! Can you believe it?! Probably not but holy shit–YOU'RE PREGNANT! On an IUI to boot! 😉 High freaking five!

    August 31, 2010
  23. JB #

    Okay, Bunny, I'm going to type this and say it out loud for good measure: this means you are PREGNANT. And as for waiting 24 hours to golden shower another stick, forget it — get thyself to the drug store (if your closet isn't full of sticks already), stock up, and start peeing on them morning and night! You know you want to! You know WE want you to!It worked! It worked! IT WORKED! Now you have to take it day by day until it's time for an ultrasound. *sigh*YOU DID IT! YOU AND MR. BUNNY DID IT! (and by "it" I mean made a bebeh with IUI!)Deep breath. *sigh again*

    August 31, 2010
  24. ASP #

    I just wanted to comment again and say YOU'RE PREEEEEGNANT!

    August 31, 2010
  25. Congrats! That faint line means it worked!!!!

    August 31, 2010
  26. N #

    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is defintely positive way to go!

    August 31, 2010
  27. Delurking to say Congratulations! A line is a line and I am so excited for you.

    August 31, 2010
  28. Jem #

    Yup. that's a line. No amount of cynicism can deny it. Now, we want more test to confirm it! When's your beta?

    August 31, 2010
  29. HOT DAMN, MISS BUNNY!!!!!! That is a hell of a line for 12dpiui. That is a real, honest to goodness, LINE of a line. I am doing my happy dance for you over here and hoping that this is it, that all your magic garden needed was a little more fertile soil for things to grow (and that your surgery remedied this).Babes, this is wonderful news. I know it's not definitive, that things can change, that there's no telling about the future. But, right here, right now? You're pregnant:)

    August 31, 2010
  30. MORE PEE STICKS! MORE PEE STICKS! MORE PEE STICKS!

    August 31, 2010
  31. HOLY CRAP, GIRL! That's a positive damn stick, right there! I cannot NOT be excited about that!

    August 31, 2010
  32. Yeahhhhhh!!!! Bunny, that is a fabulously beautiful line for 12dpo! You are SO pregnant! And NO ONE is happier about this than I am! Oh, I cannot wait to hear more details. I think you should for sure get a beta today (you are going to, right? You've called your RE already, right?) And then post again as soon as you get the number. Oh, I think this is it!

    August 31, 2010
  33. Your eyes do not deceive you. That is most definitely a line. And a line is a line is a line. Yeah!

    August 31, 2010
  34. (I'm trying this for the 3rd time since the computer doesn't want me to comment) YAY BUNNY!!!!!! This line is a whole lot darker than the line I saw on the day after my beta (which was >200), so it seems to be a pretty legit line!! Congrats Bunny!!! YAY!!!!!

    August 31, 2010
  35. Oh Bunny!!!! I just knew it!There is a definite line there, I can see it, even on my laptop screen. A quick scan tells me that you have taken another one – YAY!!! Tell Mr Bunny, STAT! You are up the duff as we Australians like to say!!!Okay, I am not making much sense because I am so completely overexcited for you!!! I live in the future and so I foresee excellent betas and lots of baby bunnies in that garden very soon. Sending you the very best of thoughts. 🙂

    August 31, 2010
  36. Congrats!

    August 31, 2010
  37. Holy crap! Yoohoo! This is awesome news! I am so happy. Lines beautiful Lines! I am smiling ear to ear. 🙂

    August 31, 2010
  38. JC #

    Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY BUNNY!!! That is definitely a line!

    August 31, 2010
  39. OOOOH now THAT is a line. A real one. My fingers are crossed. Stay, line! Stay!

    August 31, 2010
  40. Hi. Hai. Hi. Can't type. Too excited. Need to lay down. Holy fucking shit, Bunny. It's on! As a pee stick vet, that would be a solid line for 14dpo. You've got a good beta, Missy. Damn. Woo hoo. I am boogying booty for you. Awesome news.PS. I leave the interwebs for half a day and nearly miss out? Fantastic Tuesday news! Made my day.

    August 31, 2010
  41. S #

    OMG! When I saw this on LFCA just now, I had to pop in immediately and say Congratulations!!Here's hoping this is a sticky BFP for you!

    September 1, 2010
  42. You did it! Woo-hoo! You're gonna have a baybee!

    September 1, 2010
  43. DEEP BREATH … I am keeping xx'd fingers for you!!

    September 1, 2010
  44. Holy shit Bunny!! I have been away and am having a heart attack reading your post. YES ITS A LINE. Holy shit, I am all the way over the other side of the world in New Zealand and I can see that line from here!!! I know it feels tentative, thats natural. You've had all the positive thoughts beaten out of you long ago. But if that line gets darker tomorrow then you better break out your happy dance!SO happy for you.

    September 1, 2010
  45. Amazing! There's a Baby Bunny in there! Settle in and big good and grow strong, okay Baby Bunny?

    September 1, 2010
  46. i see it!!!!

    September 1, 2010
  47. OHMYGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!! Fingers crossed – get thee in for a beta, yes??

    September 1, 2010

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