Do my eyes deceive me?
At three this morning, I awoke from a happy sleep with a full bladder and a sense of dread. I couldn’t decide whether to end the dream or just take a damn piss. I decided to end the dream. But the dream may not be over. There’s a faint, faint hope.
RIGHT? I’m not just hallucinating because of the early hour? Mr. Bunny is out of town, so I have no one to ask.
I’ve been here before and yet never been here before. I’ve seen this incredibly faint line before, but only three days after my period was due. Then, the ghost of a line told me it was over. Now, it’s 12 days past IUI and I don’t know what this line is telling me. Despite the helpful key on the test. I know, I have a PhD, I should be able to grasp this. But there should be a middle circle with a faint line, reading HA HA! Maybe yes and maybe no! Have fun with that! And good luck getting back to sleep, mothafuckah!
I should just keep this to myself, particularly when I know a) how much seeing this sight can be a punch in the gut in our world (I’m so sorry) and b) how quickly this phantom can vanish. But I can’t untake the test, and I’ll need you if tomorrow’s test shows nothing at all.