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Pardon me, miss…I think your uterus is showing.

I don’t look pregnant. Or, if I do, it’s only because I’m bloated. The bloat-to-gravid transition that will presumably occur (someday) reminds me a lot of going directly from acne to wrinkles. Where was the part where I got to have nice skin? There was no such part. Similarly, where is the part where I get to be pregnant and not have a beer belly? There may be no such part. Whatever, I don’t care. But this morning in the shower while groping myself (as one does) I thought I might have felt…something. Something sorta firm where before there was not too much firmness. I think my uterus might be poking out a little.

(The thing is, there’s a lot of confusing stuff in that area as a result of my surgery. First, there’s the scar. Not coincidentally, it’s right over my uterus, and it’s rather firm too. Then there’s the little flesh shelf of displaced fat that sits over the incision, which also interferes with being able to palpitate my guts. Finally, there’s what I think of as my Novocaine Belly. The severed nerves are still regrowing (it takes a looooong time) so there’s a large area of really OFF-feeling skin from navel to incision. The closest analogy I can think of is that really icky feeling your face has after Novocaine starts to wear off. It’s not exactly numb, you just don’t wanna touch it. It feels too…grody.)

Anyway, when I felt the possible-maybe-there firmness, I burst into tears of joyous amazement. I was like MAYBE MY BABY’S NOT DEAD! A minute later I was like, no…that’s totally the same as it’s always been. Sigh.

I’m twelve weeks today. I’ve got a secret page where I’m keeping offensive things like my floating fetus and belly shots, and any future ultrasound pictures, if I am so lucky. If such things don’t disgust you, you can see a picture of me looking not pregnant.

22 Comments Post a comment
  1. N #

    You look good and not bloated to me.

    October 27, 2010
  2. 12 weeks! Barely containing urge to celebrate, but will do until further notice…

    October 27, 2010
  3. Wow! 12 weeks! I started showing almost right away, but I'm not a good comparison because there are two babies in my belly…I know TONS of girls who barely show until 18 weeks or so. Soon enough, Bunny!

    October 27, 2010
  4. I bet if you had taken a picture in the exact position and clothing you're in let's say on July 15, and compared it to this picture, you would think that you're showing a little. Obviously not a lot. But, there's a living bun bun in there! Congratulations on reaching 12 weeks. That is fantastic news! I won't start dancing until you say it's ok, but I am doing a very contained happy dance inside.

    October 27, 2010
  5. Yeah, you really don't look bloaty at all to me.12 weeks, Bunny! That is so awesome.

    October 27, 2010
  6. going directly from acne to wrinkles — you crack me up, bunny. Thanks for the laugh.And you look great!

    October 27, 2010
  7. I don't think you look bloated either! Bloat usually feels worse than it looks though :). Congrats on 12 wks!

    October 27, 2010
  8. JB #

    Oh, Bunny, I hit the delete button instead of publish on your comment. Oopsie. But to answer your question, I will still work from home but have phone and web meetings throughout the workday, hence the grownup interaction. Also why in-home childcare would be awkward. All things you'll get to think about before you know it. πŸ™‚

    October 27, 2010
  9. Oh I love your secret page!! So adorable. And I love that you feel like you felt something. But most of all, I love your reaction to it. xo

    October 27, 2010
  10. HECK YEAH ON 12 WEEKS!!!!!Your stealth little Bun-Bun seems on the verge of making an appearance! I totally still look beer-belly fat. It's really unfortunate. But whatevs, apparently we will all have these so-called "bumps" soon. And I love your new secret page. If I could figure out how to make one on WordPress, I'd totally do that since I'm so weird abt belly pic blog posts. πŸ™‚ Excellent solution! xo

    October 27, 2010
  11. AL #

    Yay! 12 weeks!! My mom keeps asking me if I can feel the ute – ummm, I don't know, sometimes I think I can, but really I have no idea…i don't see any bloat, you look great. i have some serious bloat going on over here…

    October 27, 2010
  12. Ohhhhhhh….almost the end of the 1st trimester! How are you feeling (other than bloated)? As someone who is a few weeks ahead of you, and am tall, you are absolutely right, you go from looking flabby to more fat and then I'm not sure what happen after that (proably OMG you are as big as a house size). Yipee!!

    October 27, 2010
  13. yaay for 12 weeks!! i don't think you look bloated, but there does appear to be a tiny bump there where bun bun is trying to start showing. if you wanna see bloated, i'll post a pic soon of my belly from the weekend. dh started taking pics of me on saturday and i already look like a fat cow. we'll be doing this every saturday morning to see how my tummy changes week by week.

    October 27, 2010
  14. ASP #

    I love your secret page! Thanks for sharing and making it not so secret anymore! Holy crap, you're 12 weeks! Awwwwwesome! Keep on truckin'!

    October 27, 2010
  15. JC #

    Awe, I like your secret page!!! Yay for 12 weeks!

    October 27, 2010
  16. [wolf whistle] Gurrl, you look gooood! Seriously. And nicely done on the 12 weeks! You're almost outta the scaryzone! That's rad. You got me thinkin', posting hot belly pics like that…maybe I'll start posting pics of my tumtum as well. Because, you know, why not?

    October 27, 2010
  17. Ha ha, I already knew about the secret page. I can't believe it's 11w4d already. Holy cow. You look great. πŸ™‚

    October 28, 2010
  18. 12 weeks! I like it. You look great, and Bun Bun is apparently thriving. WOOT!

    October 28, 2010
  19. Holy crap that page is funny. Transfixed by the bouncing fetus.When do you cross the line of belief? What is the milestone that will make it real?

    October 28, 2010
  20. I'm convinced it's the uterus, and your bun bun letting you know that he is in da house:)Glad you sent the link to the secret page. Twelve weeks! I'm so glad, Bunny.

    October 28, 2010
  21. Congrats on 12 weeks!!! That's terribly exciting! And I think you look fabulous. Bun Bun will surely start poking out of there sometime between now and Christmas and then will grow by leaps and bounds!!

    October 28, 2010
  22. I'm doing a happy dance with a lot of hops for the buns here. Not my buns, mind you, as that is not worthy of a dance. I'm speaking of the belly bun that is now one quarter closer to saying hello. Thanks for the secret page!

    October 28, 2010

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