OH MY BOWELS!
Back when I first started trying to conceive, I made sure to plan ahead and request an afternoon teaching schedule. So that morning sickness wouldn’t interfere with teaching, see? Let’s all just take a moment to point and laugh at my stupid former self.
Luckily, the internal woes I’ve suffered have interacted fairly well with needing to teach. There have been a few times I thought I was gonna spew in the middle of my lecture, but I had my air sickness bag, a quick exit route planned, and I was just going to hope I’d remember to turn off the microphone I have to wear in my larger class. So far, so good, on that end. But Thursday, in my smaller class, the other end of my digestive tract reared its ugly head. The students were working on their papers, and I was chatting with one guy about his outline, when suddenly…ATTACK OF THE SUPER-INTENSE INTESTINAL CRAMPS. I knew what was coming. My jammed up bowels were finally ready to evacuate, and when they did, they were going to evacuate with a vengeance. My eyes glazed over. I felt faint. Cold sweat sprang from my brow. I thought maybe I could play through the pain. But…no. With a trembling hand, I passed the student’s outline back and said, I have to step out for a moment. THANK GOD I knew where the nearest restroom was. THANK GOD it was empty, because, oh lord, no one deserved to be exposed to what ensured thereafter.
Anyway, my intestines are now totally ready to start packing it in again! So that maybe we can repeat the experience this week.