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A little ART mockery

Mr Bunny came home after a few days out of town last night. He gazed thoughtfully at me.

I think you might be…pregnant, he said.

Did we engaged in any unsafe activities about…four…months ago?

Like…maybe having a nurse practitioner inseminate you with my washed sperm?

You can get PREGNANT that way? I replied in horror.

I didn’t THINK so, Mr. Bunny said, but

We plan to visit local sex ed classes to spread the word: IUI is not the effective form of birth control we once believed it to be.

In other news, today is my last day of classes. Sure I’ve got a hideous pile of terrible papers to grade, and after my teaching assistant slaves finish grading the final exams for my big class, I’ve got the unpleasant fallout to deal with (E.g., e-mails reading: why did i get a F in yr class bc i never came or did my hws but i tried really hard on the final and i don’t think its fair.), but the most energy consuming part of my semester will be over in a few hours. HOT DAMN. I aim to fucking celebrate by eating a burrito and going to bed.

20 Comments Post a comment
  1. Yep…B and I have those same conversations. Sometimes you just have to poke fun at the was our little ones were conceived.Yay for the end of the semester. My parents, both profs at one point or another, always share the best student emails with us at the end of a semester. Stressful for you, I'm sure, but funny, too 🙂

    December 2, 2010
  2. Oh my goddess, Bunny, you're cracking me up this morning! (ok, why do I put an exclamation mark there? You crack me up all the time. It's no surprising event. I guess I'm putting it to offer up my glee at the way you make me laugh). Congrats on getting through the semester and the first trimester all at once. You pretty much are the bomb. Happy burrito and early bedtime! I hope there are a few little gems in those papers. Perhaps you'll even share…My fave so far was the 1st year paper I marked on depression in the elderly. The section went something like this: "Depression in the elderly can be cured with tricycles. However, tricycles are lethal if overdosed" I just kept imagining the nurse at the long-term care facility running after Mr. Jones on his tricycle, pedaling away to his most certain death.

    December 2, 2010
  3. A burrito is warranted at this point. I expect your hand drawn brochure on the busting the myths of pregnancy. A nurse + clean swimmers + hoohoo spa treatment might = baby, despite what the tabloids tell you.

    December 2, 2010
  4. JB #

    Best grading advice I've seen/been given: buy 5-sided die. Label each with a grade, A-F. Roll die. Assign grade. Name the die, "The TA." When crying student asks why they got a D on the paper they worked on for, like, two weeks, tell them, "I'll ask the TA."

    December 2, 2010
  5. cgd #

    ha!!!! congrats on finishing your semester. You and Bun Bun have certainly earned the much needed time off. Enjoy 🙂

    December 2, 2010
  6. I don't know what you're talking about. IUI was entirely effective birth control for me. Please share some choice exam answers. I love love love your students.

    December 2, 2010
  7. Burritos and bed…That's how I celebrate!Whining students are the worst. Happy end of the semester!

    December 2, 2010
  8. Argh — computer ate my comment. Anyway, congratulations and please do send out exam answers. Enjoy the burrito (I'm jealous — anything spicy could kill me) and enjoy the time off!

    December 2, 2010
  9. You and Mr. Bunny are high-larious. And obviously totally right for each other. Yay for that! And for ends of semesters! Boo for grading and papers. But hooray for tricycles!

    December 2, 2010
  10. AL #

    haha, i love it :)Congrats on the end of the semester! (Just think of what will be at the end of the next one 🙂 )

    December 2, 2010
  11. So funny – love this!

    December 2, 2010
  12. Congrats on the end of the semester. I have a few more days. But it's so close I can almost taste it. And, yup, expecting a few e-mails like that one. IUI isn't a form of birth control? Could have fooled me lately but…hot diggity:)

    December 2, 2010
  13. yaay for the end of classes!!! soo happy for you. put up your feet and relax!!!funny story for you – my worst ever excuse to a professor in college (it was TRUE THOUGH). i needed an extension for a paper bc i was bleeding to death. okie, slight exagerration, but i had had my period for FORTY days in a row and kept having blackouts from the LOSS OF BLOOD! so, i had to tell this to the very male prof and he couldn't get me out of his office with fast enough. plus he turned purple bc he was very embarrassed to be discussing this very personal topic with me. i did get a week extension out of it :o)

    December 2, 2010
  14. Mr. Bunny is hilarious! And yay for the end of the semester! Bring on those student emails 😉

    December 2, 2010
  15. ASP #

    You party animal, Bunny! Amen to the end of the semester for you! I didn't think you could get pregnant from IUI's either. Hmmmmm. Are you sure you're really pregnant?! 😉 You're like a real life urban legend. Take care of yourself!

    December 3, 2010
  16. Hilariousness.

    December 3, 2010
  17. Congrats on your last day of classes! Mmmm, burrito sounds good (or in my case, gluten-free burrito)…

    December 3, 2010
  18. Too funny, all around. Congrats on the end of the semester!

    December 3, 2010
  19. Very funny! I will occasionally point at my belly and say to the Mr. "there's a baby in there" and he'll look at me wide eyed and say "how did that happen? did you swallow it?" Love Augusta's story of the tricyle riding depressed elderly, fantastic!

    December 3, 2010
  20. Ha, brilliant! Good on you bunny. Enjoy it..

    December 6, 2010

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