THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
Almost every day, Mr. Bunny asks me if THE QUICKENING has occurred yet. And of course I respond with THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! and make like lightening is crackling out of my belly. As has every pregnant woman since 1986.*
Like everything else associated with reproduction, this whole “feeling movement” thing is not what I imagined. That whole area is increasingly active (I hear tell it’s because my intestines are being gradually shoved up to my chin), so I’ve established some guidelines to keep me reasonable. Like: if it makes a gurgling noise, it’s not Bun Bun. Or: if it’s followed by an unpleasant smell, it’s not Bun Bun. All the same, friends, this weekend I had a moment where, all logic aside, I was viscerally (HA!) certain that I felt Bun Bun flourishing his little broadsword in there. It happened as I was pulling out of a Dunkin Donuts parking lot. Can you imagine a more beautiful setting? I can’t. It was just a little bloop! but there was something about it…
There were two other fetus related firsts this weekend.
1. I bought new bras. When I brought them home, Mr. Bunny I and stood there marveling at how huge they are. Like TENTS. I mean, I don’t appear particularly huge in the bosom, so it was odd to suddenly have these enormous bras in my house. That are ostensibly for me to wear. Which I did immediately, because YOWZA! The old ones don’t fit no mo’.
2. I got my first surprise attack of the belly rub. We attended LP1’s Chanuka party (the same party at which, last year, she announced that she was pregnant with her second and I spent the rest of the event wanting to die), and when I gave her a hug, she sneakily seized the opportunity rub me. WOAH! I’d always figured I could avoid the belly grope, but now I see that more craftiness and strategy will be required. Like, I should avoid hugging people. Or…people, full stop.