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Your husband was an ugly baby

Friday was BFB’s campus visit. (Recall that she’s a candidate for a job in my department.) The intersection of professional and personal wasn’t as weird as I’d feared, perhaps because I e-mailed her ahead of time to let her know I was super busy and frazzled and that a) we’d have no real interaction other than our scheduled meeting, and that b) if I seemed grumpy, it wasn’t her, it was the drywall dust up my nose. But it turned out that she had a bit of free time in her evening, so I brought her home for a drink before we went our separate ways. Thus it transpired that she intersected briefly with Mr. Bunny’s mother. Naturally they spent the whole time ooohing and aahing over pictures of BFB’s baby, Jane. Jane really is a very pretty child, but watching this kind of interaction is…boring and irritating. Particularly when I should clearly be the center of attention. And then…Mr. Bunny’s mother turned to me and said that Mr. Bunny was not a particularly attractive baby, so I should be prepared for Bun Bun to not be as cute as Jane.

Wow. WOW! First of all, lady, please don’t insult my husband, whom I totally adore. Second, please don’t imply that my astonishing beauty* is insufficient to counteract whatever ugliness your side of the family might be contributing. Third, please don’t insult my unborn child, who will quite obviously be the most beautiful baby ever to grace the earth with his presence. And if you’re going to simultaneously insult my husband, me, and my future child, please don’t do so via comparison to the child of someone with whom I already have an unpleasantly competitive relationship and a whole lotta baggage.

So I stabbed her AND BFB in the face, cast a spell on Jane so that she will grow up hideous, and Mr. Bunny and Bun Bun and I went out to dinner. THE END.

*A friend of my mother’s recently sent this photo of Little Me. See? Bun Bun will be adorable.

And will love stripes, just like Mama.
21 Comments Post a comment
  1. OMG – this is too funny! I can't believe his own mother said that.

    February 8, 2011
  2. JB #

    It's like I always say — "when life makes you feel stabby, sharpen your knives!"

    February 8, 2011
  3. Yow! Poor bunnies – she got you all with that single shot. Of COURSE Bunbun will be utterly, perfectly beautiful – why wouldn't he be? Silly bat MIL. That impulse to make comparisons between children makes me feel weird. I feel weird, bunny! Look at you! What a cutie-pie.

    February 8, 2011
  4. HAH!!!!! Thanks for the laugh today, Bunny. This was totally payback for not wanting her to move in with you when Bun Bun is born. πŸ˜‰

    February 8, 2011
  5. You're MIL is just a pearl, isn't she? Wow.

    February 8, 2011
  6. Duh. Bun Bun's gonna be awesome AND cute. I already know that. Stupid grandma.

    February 8, 2011
  7. Ummmmmm….. Yeah does she recall the beautiful 3 d ultrasound pic of bun-bun? Apparently not. I hope you shoved it in her face prior to the stabbing. The nerve of these people!

    February 8, 2011
  8. cgd #

    horrified, what are you supposed to do with a comment like that??? Your baby will be adorable and now I understand why you do not want your MIL around for the first month!!P.S. you are sooooooooo cute πŸ™‚

    February 8, 2011
  9. Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? Love your little pic and those stripey stripes! xo

    February 8, 2011
  10. Oh my. What a terrible thing for a mother to say! Bun bun will be beautiful I am sure. Love the pic.mother in law = complicated…..always

    February 8, 2011
  11. dude, i cannot believe your MIL in said that. your little bun bun is going to be the cutest little baby ever. i don't associate with oogly people, so since you're my friend, it means you are *extremely* goodlooking, and therefore so is your hubby and bunbun :o) xoxo.

    February 8, 2011
  12. I can't believe she didn't think her own baby was the cutest baby ever. Weird. BunBun will obviously be uber cute, just like his/her mommy.

    February 9, 2011
  13. Omg! You are so full of cuteness in that picture that I CAN'T STAND IT! You are adorable! Hum, who cares about Jane. Bun Bun will clearly be a total darling. Your MIL is spun, as is the case with many MIL. I just wish you could have that part easy, you know. I nice, sane, well-boundaried mother-in-law. But no. That would be too easy.

    February 9, 2011
  14. Hahaha! Too funny. You are too cute in the pic and I am sure that Bun Bun is too. So, I have a random question to ask – when you look at the picture from 19 weeks do you see a resemblance to either you or Mr. Bunny? It seems like it's a really good pic. Also, for some reason that little face just screams girl to me!

    February 9, 2011
  15. Um, weird. I'm sure hubs was perfectly adorable as a baby and if not, then your cuteness will definitely take over πŸ™‚

    February 9, 2011
  16. Of course BunBun will be adorable. And wear stripes. And give nasty looks to grandma.

    February 9, 2011
  17. Awwww…with genetic ammunition like that, of course Bun Bun is going to be a looker. I'll admit to laughing over your MIL's gaffe – it's something that would have gotten on my nerves, both in its substance AND given the audience. Glad the visit was relatively painless (a word nearly impossible to apply to candidate searches). Glad BFB was drinking solo:)

    February 10, 2011
  18. I nominate you for every award out there.Go.

    February 10, 2011
  19. Aw you are cute in that pic πŸ˜‰ I'm sure your baby will be cute as well. I can't believe she said that.

    February 10, 2011
  20. Well that would have made me feel stabby too. Good for you. And of course Bun Bun will be gorgeous. And super smart. In stripes.Had been wondering how the whole BFB recruitment campaign was progressing.

    February 12, 2011
  21. Wow, your MIL is a trip. Love that pic of you – totally adorable :).

    February 12, 2011

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