Are all pediatricians jackasses?
We chose our pediatric practice because of their lactation support. That aspect has been great. (I don’t know what I would have done without the wonderful Dr. Tits.) But the actual pediatricians have been appalling. We met with two while still in the hospital, and both were weirdly misogynistic and…yucky. First, there was the doctor who saw us the day after Bun Bun was born. She rubbed me the wrong way instantly by projecting some kind of weird body issues onto my tiny baby. I don’t quite remember how it all worked (because I had a one-day-old and some pain meds), but it involved Bun Bun worrying that her ass was fat. I mean, woah. No way I want a woman like that around my child. She was also the doctor responsible for the supplemental nursing system, and in general, won my loathing by not answering any of my questions and by being dismissive.
Then there was the doctor who discharged us. Mr. Bunny and I both agree he’s the biggest ASS we’ve met in a long time. Highlights:
- Began by telling us that his father is the rabbi who performed an Important National Ceremony, and that there were over a thousand guests at his (the doctor’s) wedding. Relevant HOW?
- Continued by telling me that because I am a “professional woman”, I will have certain attitudes and expectations about parenting that will prove problematic. He’d just met me and had no concept of who I was, perhaps because all he’d talked about was the importance of his father. Also, it was news to me that I am a PROSTITUTE. Also, what about the fact that Mr. Bunny is a professional man? What about his attitudes? Also, FUCK YOU.
- Moved on to saying I know you were worried about her weight, implying that the stupid SNS had been MY idea because I am a neurotic professional woman (it’s all that sex for money that does it) who expects her baby to behave in a particular way, when in reality, I’d been perfectly content to let Bun Bun be Bun Bun.
By this point we were both writhing with suppressed fury, so when he said that having a baby was like having someone speaking Russian to you, I responded I speak Russian, and announced that he should wrap up as we had things to do.
So when we made the appointment for our one month checkup, we made it clear we didn’t want to see either of those doctors ever again. Instead, we got an all new doctor, who was again super not interested in whether we had any questions or concerns. Plus I immediately wrote him off when he began a sentence with Studies Have Shown. How many sentences beginning that way have any value? Very few. And indeed, the rest of the sentence was something to the effect that babies who spend a certain number of hours doing non-nutritive sucking are less fussy than babies who don’t. No shit. I presume that fussy is operationalized as making noise, so it would be equally fair to say that babies who are gagged for part of the day are less fussy. YOU DON’T FOOL ME.
There are five doctors in the practice, and we’ve blown through three. It’s quite possible that the type of person this practice attracts is the type of person I am going to hate. But it’s also possible that pediatrics attracts people I am going to hate. We meet number four in a couple of weeks, so I’ll have an additional data point.