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Are all pediatricians jackasses?

We chose our pediatric practice because of their lactation support. That aspect has been great. (I don’t know what I would have done without the wonderful Dr. Tits.) But the actual pediatricians have been appalling. We met with two while still in the hospital, and both were weirdly misogynistic and…yucky. First, there was the doctor who saw us the day after Bun Bun was born. She rubbed me the wrong way instantly by projecting some kind of weird body issues onto my tiny baby. I don’t quite remember how it all worked (because I had a one-day-old and some pain meds), but it involved Bun Bun worrying that her ass was fat. I mean, woah. No way I want a woman like that around my child. She was also the doctor responsible for the supplemental nursing system, and in general, won my loathing by not answering any of my questions and by being dismissive.

Then there was the doctor who discharged us. Mr. Bunny and I both agree he’s the biggest ASS we’ve met in a long time. Highlights:

  • Began by telling us that his father is the rabbi who performed an Important National Ceremony, and that there were over a thousand guests at his (the doctor’s) wedding. Relevant HOW?
  • Continued by telling me that because I am a “professional woman”, I will have certain attitudes and expectations about parenting that will prove problematic. He’d just met me and had no concept of who I was, perhaps because all he’d talked about was the importance of his father. Also, it was news to me that I am a PROSTITUTE. Also, what about the fact that Mr. Bunny is a professional man? What about his attitudes? Also, FUCK YOU. 
  • Moved on to saying I know you were worried about her weight, implying that the stupid SNS had been MY idea because I am a neurotic professional woman (it’s all that sex for money that does it) who expects her baby to behave in a particular way, when in reality, I’d been perfectly content to let Bun Bun be Bun Bun.

By this point we were both writhing with suppressed fury, so when he said that having a baby was like having someone speaking Russian to you, I responded I speak Russian, and announced that he should wrap up as we had things to do.

So when we made the appointment for our one month checkup, we made it clear we didn’t want to see either of those doctors ever again. Instead, we got an all new doctor, who was again super not interested in whether we had any questions or concerns. Plus I immediately wrote him off when he began a sentence with Studies Have Shown. How many sentences beginning that way have any value? Very few. And indeed, the rest of the sentence was something to the effect that babies who spend a certain number of hours doing non-nutritive sucking are less fussy than babies who don’t. No shit. I presume that fussy is operationalized as making noise, so it would be equally fair to say that babies who are gagged for part of the day are less fussy. YOU DON’T FOOL ME.

There are five doctors in the practice, and we’ve blown through three. It’s quite possible that the type of person this practice attracts is the type of person I am going to hate. But it’s also possible that pediatrics attracts people I am going to hate. We meet number four in a couple of weeks, so I’ll have an additional data point.

16 Comments Post a comment
  1. cgd #

    I am surprised you did not punch someone! Time for a new practice pronto.

    June 18, 2011
  2. JB #

    If you feel comfortable you don't need so much lactation support now, or have another way to receive it, get to a new practice pronto. There will be visits where you can't avoid these assclowns (unscheduled for colds or fevers, etc, when all remaining non-assclown docs are booked up until Christmas 2015), and you do not need that kind of bullshit. I got a recommendation from a cousin for my practice, which I love so far; maybe drop in on a mom's group *shudder* and ask around about Peds practices. Then tell the Important Rabbinical Son to fuck himself. In Russian.

    June 18, 2011
  3. dude. don't meet number 4 in a week: leave. there is such a thing as a practice-wide culture problem. — daughter of a ped who's not like that, niece of a ped who's not like that, mother of a peds patient whose doctor is not like that. good doctors listen to their patients.

    June 18, 2011
  4. Studies have shown that a 60% asshole rate is a poor indicator of future coolness. Please hightail it on outta there.

    June 18, 2011
  5. ASP #

    I agree with everyone else- find a new practice stat. We sent an email out to all our momma friends and eventually went with the momma that had older kids and had been at the practice for awhile (and we looove the 2 doctors we've seen so far). We figured she had the most experience with the pediatricians unlike all our new mom friends that had just started seeing their pediatricians. There are practices in the city that people tend to go to because of the name and that's where everyone else and their mothers go. I wanted somewhere that someone already had a relationship with. Maybe post on a message board to a mom's group in your area via meetup.com and hopefully you'll get some responses. Gooood luck!

    June 18, 2011
  6. i've met 3 out of the 5 pediatricians at my practice and i loved every one even more than the previous person. so, it's your practice that sucks, sounds like. time to change, now that hopefully your BF-ing is under control and you won't have any more need to the LC services?? i thought all ped's ppl were super warm and friendly and patient. at least all my friends who went into ped's were like that. if you stick around long enuf to meet #4, curse them out before you leave :o) xoxo.

    June 18, 2011
  7. Ask around anybody local with children that you know. I did and got an almost universal recommendation for the practice I use. I've kept the same doctor since day one and have been happy with any doctors I've seen on the days she wasn't available.

    June 19, 2011
  8. We saw a ped in my hometown the day we brought Isaac back to my mom's house – he was awesome! He had the best bedside manner, the sweetest personality, and pics of his kids ALL OVER the walls in every office. If we lived there, I'd totally be signing up with him :). So, no, not all of them are assholes. Hope you can find a better one!

    June 19, 2011
  9. N #

    That sucks! We started with one and then switched. Go with someone else if the next two are turds. Actually, for sick visits you usually get who you get, so you may want to switch now. You do way more sick visits then regular ones.

    June 19, 2011
  10. Switch. Do it now. Tere are great pEDs out there, to include mine, ifnyou wanna come to NYC I even give the dr (another member of the practice) a pass who told me to wait a week to start pumping. Yeah, it was the beginning of supply issues, but he was just trying to keep my head from exploding with all the stuff I had to do with a newborn. My ped is awesome, we get a full hour for every appointment, she is not at all annoyed by my list of questions, and she is really funny and down to earth. Oh, and b loves her, despite the shots. ask friends for their peds and then swap practices, do it now before you hit someone.(incidentally, my ped in Ohio, where I believe you live and is the land of my birth, was the greatest guy ever. I went to him until I was 18 so I remember.)

    June 19, 2011
  11. Eww gross to all three docs. "Professional woman "? Sounds like he's the one with preconceived notions. What a dick.I hope you find a betterone….they can't all be douchebags right?

    June 19, 2011
  12. These docs sound awful! You're going to be spending way too much time with Bun Bun's doc to hate them all. Run away – fast!

    June 20, 2011
  13. Awk! We go to a family practice and I think they are on average less neurotic than peds, though there are of course some great ones. But I agree: quit while you're… less far behind!

    June 20, 2011
  14. Sounds like the practice is stuck in the 70s. Did you notice you were entering a time warp? Hard to miss with those attitudes. A professional woman indeed. Fuckhead. I will be looking forward to reading the next chapter in the pediatrician saga. It will perhaps involve a different practice altogether, or the one redeeming pediatrician in the current practice who has made it into the new millennium.

    June 21, 2011
  15. I'd give a lot to be able to have seen the expression on that doctor's face when you told him you speak Russian. A lot:)Hoping that the other two docs in that practice prove to be a whole lot better.

    June 23, 2011
  16. Doctors are fuckers and I give myself an amen on this one.Stand your line and dont accept that stupidity. Professional womyn. Tell the good doctor that is how you spell it.

    June 28, 2011

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