So I’m supposed to have sex now, eh?
I had my six week check up last week (at seven weeks), and was asked what method of birth control I plan on using. I think abstinence is going to work just fine for us. For a number of reasons. Unlike many new mothers, I’m not healing from any ravages of the birth canal, and yet when my OB checked my cervix, it felt a lot like making sweet love to a red hot poker covered with knives. And of course my lack of interest in the whole enterprise is quite profound. And then there are some logistical issues. So maybe some of you can report on your experiences and at least help with the latter?
For example, I’ve heard that my breasts might leak when I become sexually aroused. While I don’t expect to ever become sexually aroused again in my life, I’m wondering precisely what we’re talking about here. A little dripping? A geyser of milk? And how do you handle this, exactly? Do you have a frank discussion with your partner at some point prior to engaging? And how do partners tend to feel about the whole MILK thing? Does it gross them out? And then there’s the fact that nipple simulation tends to be pretty integral to me having an orgasm, but my nipples are still quite tender, and I’m not sure I want them used for recreational purposes. So maybe I should just keep some clothes on, to avoid the whole issue? Perhaps a ratty old t-shirt, all covered with spit-up?
Then there’s the question of where and when. We’ve always tended to have sex at night in our bed, but there’s now another occupant. Do we stash her in her crib and try to ignore her? Isn’t she guaranteed to wake up and start shrieking the moment we get started? And while I have lots of experience with joyless timed intercourse under pressure, I never got particularly good at it. And now, the whole idea of going from 0 to 60 in thirty seconds, knowing a baby might start fussing at any moment… How am I supposed to keep my head in the game?
And finally, will my sex drive (poor beaten-up old thing) revive before my husband loses patience? Does he even want to be getting laid right now? (I mean, obviously I should ask HIM, but I though perhaps some of you were pleasantly surprised to discover your partner wasn’t even interested when you got around to broaching the subject.) And if your partner isn’t interested, is it because you’re a saggy old milkbag?
I will certainly talk about all of this with my husband, but if you have any thoughts, do share. And if you don’t want to share with the whole internet, you can e-mail me at lampreychildATgmailDOTcom.