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It’s ALIVE

I had to beg for an ultrasound, but I got one, and there’s a real live fetus in there. I say fetus because I’m nine weeks today. The fetus, who shall be known as Bunlet (Mr. Bunny chose it) has a heart (with beating), and what appears to be a head, too.

It was such a strange and different experience. Last time, it was my trusty RE who wanded me, and he was practically triumphant when he found that little blob. Mr. Bunny was by my side, and the joy of the moment was indescribable. This time, my OB seemed surprised that I wanted a scan. I explained that I’d had some spotting and that my symptoms had abruptly vanished right after, and she became concerned. And while I was concerned too, seeing her become concerned made me feel like crying. But at this practice, the ultrasound suite is a separate entity, so she had to see if they could squeeze me in. She said it probably wouldn’t be the same day, so Mr. Bunny went home. And then they could squeeze me in, but I was being treated as something scary, and I was now alone, and I became more and more tearful, and I thought a lot about the many women I know who have had to sit in the room with the feelings of doom surrounding them and everyone being abrupt and emotionless because they fear they are about to deliver bad news… And then they probed me, and there it was, my precious fetus. Everything as it should be. And I felt like the angel of death had hovered over me and then decided to pass me by, even though in reality I was just being histrionic the whole time and Normal Women (whoever they are) don’t even pay attention to things like spotting and absence of symptoms and don’t expect all pregnancies to end in death.

So. That’s that. And the only thing that feels like last time is that I have to rush off to a hideous three hour committee meeting and can’t really even pause to digest this.

(But I do want to say, however awkwardly, that if you are really struggling with your family building right now and are hurting and beat down, and reading about this just makes you too sad, this would be a good time to leave and not come back until things are better for you, which I SO hope is soon, and not like you need my permission to leave or anything, but I sure understand and would never want to cause you pain, but I can’t help it, this is just what’s happened to me.)

28 Comments Post a comment
  1. I'm so thrilled to read this great news, Bunny. Hourray for Bunlet, little head and heartbeat and all. Those moments of not knowing must have been truly awful, and I am relieved for you that what followed was a confirmation that all is well in your uterus.

    January 20, 2012
  2. I think it's a beautiful miracle:-)

    January 20, 2012
  3. Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaah!!! I'm so happy to hear this. I hope that the early pregnancy symptoms are going a bit easy on you, though. Three hour meetings are rough enough without feeling the urge to vomit the whole time!

    January 20, 2012
  4. congratulations! i'm so glad you're a fertile whore!really, though. i am. xops, i was totally that girl at the u/s i threw w fit to get after throwing a fit to get an early ob appt when my insurance stopped paying for the re and i started spotting. fun times!

    January 20, 2012
  5. BUNLET!!! I love it, Bunny. And this is so effing awesome. CONGRATULATIONS, mama!!! So very glad that, for you as well, the worry that spotting caused ended up being needless. I'm thrilled for you. Love!

    January 20, 2012
  6. Oak #

    What fantastic news! I'm so so happy for the Bunny Family! And selfishly, glad to have another effing fertile baby hoarder so I don't have to feel like such an asshole by myself. πŸ˜‰ Now the big question is – how far apart will BunBun and Bunlet(te) be?

    January 20, 2012
  7. Huzzah! Bunlet should continue to grow limbs and wave them about in an adorable fashion. And I'm sure you've had a stern talk with your placenta and all.

    January 20, 2012
  8. Bunlet. Oh joy of joy, I am happy for you dear Bunny. I am doing a happy bunny dance for you right now that involves lots of hops and squeals of bunny pitched happiness. It might also be confused with my dolphin dance of joy which is remarkably similar.Holy freaking shit, batman. You've got a live one!

    January 20, 2012
  9. JB #

    Welcome, Bunlet! Huzzah!

    January 20, 2012
  10. Jem #

    Bunlet! Heart (beating) and head. Nice progress. Keep up the good work, little one!

    January 20, 2012
  11. oh MAN I am excited. That is just such great news. Quite the week you are having, with work and the confirmation of Bunlet. Amazing!

    January 20, 2012
  12. ASP #

    Bunlet! Love it! It's like you have a little unicorn in your uterus! I can't mothereffing believe it! I think someone else asked…so how far apart (or close πŸ˜‰ in age will Bun Bun and Bunlet be?

    January 20, 2012
  13. While I may only check in now and then this one makes me smile ear to ear. πŸ™‚

    January 20, 2012
  14. Oh, I'm GLAD, Bunny. Very glad. Bunlet…I like it:)

    January 20, 2012
  15. I am so very happy to hear this news.ALSO… 5 minutes with the gasket off and the kid drinks from the sippy. Just like that. Albeit sloppy, but he's doing it. I'm embarrassed that I didn't figue this out, but happy to have a smart blog friend. Congratulations Bunny! This is such good news.

    January 21, 2012
  16. Congratulations! So pleased that all is well, despite the spotting… and very glad that you got your ultrasound for that reassurance (I can never quite get my head around the lack of monitoring that natural conception gets).Looking forward to the updates on Bunlet, and I'll add my voice to those curious about how far apart the siblings will be?

    January 21, 2012
  17. N #

    yeah!

    January 21, 2012
  18. Bunlet! Lovely! πŸ™‚ Very good news! The best. Sorry for brevity. Too early. But me very ahooy for you. Make that happy. Too morning, drat.

    January 21, 2012
  19. Dear, dear bunny, I am so glad it is happening to you. It's such a brilliant, beautiful, unexpected thing.(Three hour meeting? Are they actually trying to kill you? WORDS FAIL.)

    January 21, 2012
  20. cgd #

    sending you so much love, what an exciting surprise!!!

    January 21, 2012
  21. More baby bunnies!!!!! Hooray for the beatingheart and the tinyhead and the alivedness of the Bunlet.x

    January 21, 2012
  22. Bunlet! And only 3 weeks to the 2nd tri. I hope the fatigue isn't kicking your a$$.

    January 21, 2012
  23. I can leave you a comment at last! I am so happy for you. When I see Bun Bun's cute little face (bunting pic), I can't wait to see Bunlet. Happy for you and Mr. Bunny. It must be strange to be treated as a regular old pregnant lady. I often thought that I couldn't deal with such a long time between OB visits. Wishing you a peaceful and healthy pregnancy.

    January 21, 2012
  24. Yesssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!! (thank you for sharing the wonderful news in the post title, loved breathing a sigh of relief when I saw that in my reader!!)So happy for you and so excited about your sweet little Bunlet. I also hope the transition back to work is going okay-ish. I found (and still find) that every single day in the office has its major highs and lows. Keep us posted!! xoxo

    January 22, 2012
  25. Hi Bunny, I can't begin to express how happy I am for you! This is wonderful wonderful news. Seeeeeee, you have to trust me 'cause I live in the future!!!Apologies for being the last to know. I was away these past three days – was thinking of you. PS. Would never abandon your blog. xoA

    January 23, 2012
  26. I finally made it to the bottom of my reader and saw your good news. Welcome to Bunlet, the Little Fetus Who Could! πŸ™‚

    January 23, 2012
  27. Rock that shit right to the crib.I cant tell you how great this is to read, but you dont need to hear it now do you.Congratulations.

    January 23, 2012
  28. AL #

    So happy to hear all is well with Bunlet.

    January 24, 2012

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