My new edition
A student e-mailed to congratulate me on my new edition. After shaking my head sadly over the state of education in America, I had to stroke my invisible beard thoughtfully.
Bunlet is a unique work, one requiring countless hours of labor*, but there are some ways in which the experience of parenthood for the second time IS a little bit: With revised figures and tables! An expanded section on breastfeeding that reflects current research trends! All new chapters on penises and on having ALL the babies!
And there are some significant revisions. For example, the chapter on diapers is largely unchanged, but there’s some new material reflecting the fact that boy babies urinate from multiple, apparently invisible orifices. I think there may be one somewhere around the back of the neck? Last night Mr. Bunny brought Bunlet back after a middle of the night diaper change, placed him in my arms, and I was like Why the fuck is he dripping wet?
The chapter on breastfeeding gets some updates, too. Some things are different. Perhaps because Bunlet is larger, perhaps because I know what I’m doing a little, perhaps because of MAGIC, things have been okay this time. I’m a little tender, but no bloody nipples. (Um…yet.) And I’m already doing things (like carrying him around while he’s nursing, and leaving the house, and wearing clothes) that it took me a month to do last time. So enormous fucking yay on that one. On the other hand, some things are the same, like the tearful 3 am googling of engorgement + relief… (That’s over now, thankfully.)
And lots of other things are the same and different…
I think the most significant change in this edition is a new theoretical approach to babies (discussed in the foreword). I seem to have developed a belief that babies, given certain constraints, tend to remain ALIVE. With Bun Bun, I believed the opposite. I needed to be able to see her at all times, and even then, it felt like if I relaxed my vigilance for a moment, she would surely expire. This time…I can leave Bunlet in another room for whole half hours at a time, or do things like sleep through all his weird death-rattle-esque noises. So this edition reflects the fact that the argument that goes with your second child you’ll be, like, soooo much mellower, appears to be supported by the facts.
At least for now.
Anyway, all elaborate analogies aside, thus far Bunlet has been a lot like Bun Bun. He likes to eat. He likes to sleep. He’s perfect and amazing.
*HA. Do you not appreciate my fine use of THE HUMOR? Though I guess it would have been funnier if I’d actually had to labor. Or not. Certainly this footnote kills whatever humor may have existed in the world, ever.