On living in a cave
Quite some time ago, I gave up on being a well-informed citizen. I think it started when my parents became more and more polarized in their political opinions, my father becoming more conservative, my mother more liberal until they were both just more…INSANE. The crazy shit they said highlighted just how hard one has to work to find unbiased sources of information, and just how easy it is to get sucked in by rhetoric. They felt so passionately about things they were so painfully wrong about! But was I willing to work to make sure I was always well-informed? When I did, it just made me depressed and tired. The more you know, the angrier you become, it seemed. And what’s the point of being angry if you’re not going to ACT? And I am a million miles from being an activist. So I took to living in an information cave. I don’t watch or listen to or read the news, I don’t tweet or facebook or whateverthefuck new social media option is available (something about bath salts?), and if it weren’t for YOU people, I’d never find out about anything. Truly. Horrible things happen in the world and I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THEM. This is an amazing luxury.
But it’s not a responsible way to live. I mean, the government could creep on me and take away my rights and shit. So on New Year’s Day I suggested to Mr. Bunny that 2013 be The Year of Me Coming Out of My Cave.
Don’t do it, he said. Turns out he envies my obliviousness. He loves the fact that I am protected from many of the horrors of the world. Obviously I know enough about current events to know, like, TIME TO VOTE FOR PRESIDENT or whatever, and he tried to convince me that this is good enough. Unless I want to be angry and sad all the time. I thought about how frustrated I used to be by the anger + inaction combo. Well, maybe I’ll pick one issue and actually DO something, I suggested. But how to choose? Child hunger? Education? Civil liberties? Environmental issues? Just contemplating the list is upsetting. So I tabled the subject for the moment. Instead, I resolved to be kinder to my children. We saw how well that worked.
So, third time’s the charm. I have selected a new resolution for the year. 2013 will be the year that I master GEOGRAPHY. My knowledge of geography is appalling, like I don’t even quite know where all the United States are. Proof.
Okay, I could have guessed a bunch more, but these were JUST the ones I was 100% confident about. I showed Mr. Bunny and was like Think you can beat me? And he was like, Yes. I know ALL the states. And it turns out he really does. I married me a smart one! And yeah, it’s pathetic. But I know a lot of other stuff, like brain anatomy, a lot better.
I figure in 12 months I can master all 7 continents and the countries therein, and perhaps even a smattering of major rivers and seas and other doo-dads, and maybe even some basics like is the population of Tokyo greater than the population of New York.
Good news, Canadian Friends! I have honored your nation with the first of my brain cells, and have already mastered several of your thirty-six cute little provinces.
No, for reals, I just did my test on North and Central American and I am kicking ASS. Except spelling doesn’t count. And…I decided to punt on the Lesser Antilles.I could get bogged down in that shit forever.
2014! The year of the Lesser Antilles!