SHUT UP, David Attenborough!
Mr. Bunny and I watched a new David Attenborough series on AFRICA (I know where that is thanks to GEOGRAPHY!*) last week. These shows were painful before I was a mother, and are now almost unbearable because of SAVE THE BABIES! The basic narrative structure is:
Cue soaring, happy music.
1. Admire the grandeur of this vista!
2. Meet this creature! Even if you think it is ugly at first, soon you will be charmed by its cunning ways!
3. See how it reproduces! My, aren’t its young adorable!
Cue sinister music.
4. Unfortunately, ALL THE BABIES ARE EATEN/THE MOTHER DIES OF STARVATION/THE MOTHER IS EATEN AND ALL THE BABIES DIE OF STARVATION
So I probably shouldn’t watch these things. But parts 1-3 are so rewarding! And I figured I could just leave the room every time the music turned sinister, and I did, and it mostly worked…except for once when I didn’t quite get out in time.
But there’s been an unforeseen consequence, namely a cruel game Mr. Bunny has started playing. We’ll be hanging out with our sweet children, and suddenly…David Attenborough will be there.
Cue soaring music.
This sweet human infant is sleeping peacefully in the wooden nest constructed by his parents. His fat cheeks and chubby fists indicate a significant maternal investment. If all goes well, this baby will grow up strong and happy.
And I snatch up all the children and run from the room screaming SHUT UP, DAVID ATTENBOROUGH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
*I got a 100% on my North and South America test, thanks very much.