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The six month pie chart

Bunlet is now six months old. WHAT THE FUCK. Here he is, trying to find just the right words to welcome Augusta‘s Gummy.

photo

Combien pour la fillette? J’ai faim!

When I try to describe the experience of being a mother to this fat little baby, I am almost at a loss for words. He is extraordinary–so full of joy that he radiates pure sunlight. I think he has been better than one of those SAD lamps this winter… I have an audio file of him laughing (while being wild dogsed, as it happens) that I play over and over. He is very good at rolling across whole rooms, and wants so much to crawl. I have trained Bun Bun to place an array of toys in front of him and to sit next to him and read (“read”) books, and that keeps him wonderfully entertained, as he is usually happy as long as he can see her. I often find myself thinking, How did I live without you? How, indeed.

Anyway. Before Bunlet was born, we predicted what would be hard about the next six months. We decided to start with the assumption that Bunlet would not be a radically harder baby, which was tempting fate, but fate was kind. Our predictions:

pred

In short, this time I expected that FD would play a real role, that I would actually long for company, that sleep deprivation wouldn’t be such a soul destroying nightmare, etc. Our main concern was adjusting to the fact that previously we’d outnumbered the babies, and now it would be an even distribution. Which is certainly related to “no time to self”… We also predicted there would be bumps as Bun Bun’s schedule got disrupted. And we didn’t know how she’d react to having a baby around. Or how that would interact with her becoming a toddler-person, with a whole new set of needs and reactions. Now for the actual results.

Actual

I was certainly right about the FUCKING DEPRESSED. Sigh. Otherwise…well, there are a lot of tears contained in those slices of pie, but not too many surprises.

However, I reckon it’s about to get a lot harder. As Ana recently pointed out, a toddler an an inert lump of newborn ain’t no thing. But Bunlet is less inert every day. Like, I wish he’d stop rolling under the sofa when I leave the room for a nanosecond.

On the other hand, the whole experience of parenthood has been one of constant adaptation. The stage ahead always seemed intimidating. And so far we have survived. Perhaps there’s hope.

14 Comments Post a comment
  1. He just looks so eminently nommable and squishable and huggable in that picture. I can almost smell that baby smell in the crease of his neck, just looking at it.

    And the mental image of BunBun sitting next to him and reading totally makes me want another, just so I can see Gwen do that.

    March 7, 2013
  2. SRB #

    Oh, I needed this today! I’ve been feeling so smug until suddenly I FREAKED OUT about how EVERY waking moment is taken before I even wake up. It’s going to be a constant shit show, but it’s going to be okay.

    March 7, 2013
  3. Perhaps it is in the nature of second babies to be so much more full of joy than we could have hoped for. Stevie is pretty much the same. And so much more flexible than I thought he would be. He’s got his limits, naturally, but the entire experience is so much easier that the conclusion is either a) I am a better do-over parent or ii) I truly sucked the first time and most probably I broke my first baby.

    March 7, 2013
  4. Pie Charts make me want to eat pie….yum.

    March 7, 2013
  5. The thing I love most about this post (tough call – cute French baby, adorable first child manning the book barricade) is the fact that even though FUCKING DEPRESSED was well-represented in those six months, you are now saying things like ‘How did I live without you?’ That is the most reassuring thing in the universe to me. God bless you, trailblazing baby-hoarder!

    March 8, 2013
  6. Six months already… really??

    One improvement with the no longer inert lump thing is that it becomes easier for Bun Bun to interact with him–which can be a downside, but is mostly a good side. You kind of have to get used to letting them sort out their own differences (within reason–you’ll figure out your boundary line), and it’s really bloody awful when you get them settled happily with an activity, start doing whatever you need to do and then older child hurts younger child (occasionally vice versa).

    But–and this is a good but–there are few things more captivating than watching your children play together, however fleeting that moment might be. Watching them build that sibling relationship, it still puts a smile on my face.

    Enjoy!

    PS I sent you an email. Just wanted to be sure you got it.

    March 8, 2013
  7. Ana #

    AAAGH. Cuteness overload. I want to EAT those cute babies!!!! Don’t listen to me, I’m just a cranky old bitch that spawns feisty little monster-babies. YOUR babies are going to be LOVELY. Nearly 2 years of pie chart data support that hypothesis.

    March 8, 2013
  8. Sibling interaction is worthy of elation.

    Bunlet is very adorable. Rolling in circles is awesome!

    Sounds stupid to type this, but I can’t believe he is six months old.

    March 9, 2013
  9. Hey! I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while, and I think you, your offspring, and your blog are all quite wicked. I’m also an academic and just new to my own actual blog (after following so many excellent infertility/pregnancy loss/childrearing blogs for years). If you have a moment to drop by, my blog is at http://waterbelle44.wordpress.com. I think this time I might actually keep blogging, so go me. Love the pie charts.

    March 10, 2013
    • Hello! Always excited to “meet” another academic. And I’m glad you don’t hate me for being a baby hoarder, give your current situation…

      March 12, 2013
      • Oh, I hated you for a while there – actually not. I was only pleased, such is my high, high, high opinion of your awesomeness.

        March 14, 2013
  10. I am catching up on your beautiful little family! Agh – could your kids be any cuter!? I’m terrified of number 2 coming along and how that will affect our family dynamic – and then I tune into Bunny’s world and I know it will all be just fine… 🙂

    March 11, 2013
  11. 8 days later, I muster a comment. Sorry about that Bunny.
    So, YES, now I understand the FD with so much more depth and can recall concrete examples of what that’s like. I have one from last night, and the night before. I call it my defeated hour, just after supper. Jeez, it’s bleak. And then the newborn coos, and all bets are off.
    Yeah, the outnumbered thing scares me. We are barely on top of things in the 2:1 ratio. You and Mr Bunny make it look so easy though, you might convince us all to start hoarding babies.

    Please explain to Bunlet that he can meet Gummy and practice his French, as soon as I get my girl a passport. But he does have to promise not to eat her.

    March 15, 2013
    • I am very disapointed that you’ve not managed to comment on my stupid weblog in between your new mothering and trips to the hospital. But glad to know you were alive as of this comment. I’m so sorry the FD is part of your world. The defeated hour…oh yes. A good title for your novel. I am hopeful it will morph into something more gentle, the F MILDLY ANNOYED, perhaps.

      March 19, 2013

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