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Startling revelations regarding the toddler + PMS interaction

I haven’t had much experience being a parent with PMS. It’s because I’m such a psuedo-fertile baby hoarding WHORE, and aren’t I just the luckiest? Yes, I am, but I don’t mean to be an asshole about it. It’s just the reality of my situation.

My period came back three months after Bun Bun was born. One. A long cycle, like 40 days or something. Two. A nice 28 day cycle. Three. Another nice 28 day…oh. Pregnant. Nice long break from menstruation, including seven postpartum months. Then I had a period, but I didn’t know it was coming. So it’s only in the past month, really, that I’ve had the chance to find out how my hormones interact with TODDLER.

This last cycle I was having a great time parenting. I was really noticing that when I’m happier, they’re happier connection, and so proud of how I was handling things, and so pleased at how little changes were paying off. And then something happened. One morning I woke up in a CRAP mood, and it just wouldn’t lift. It must be my PMS day, I realized. In my normal (28 day) cycle, day 21 is a bitch for me. I guess all that progesterone action makes me VERY GROUCHY. But my mood usually regularizes pretty quickly, so I’m just normally grouchy. This month I was stuck in some endless fucking luteal phase, and the PMS grouch just went on and on and on. Okay, my period was only a week late, but OH MAN. And I simply could not be a patient, kind-hearted parent. I tried and tried, but it did NOT work, because I was MAD ALL THE TIME.

And then buckets of gore issued forth from my loins, and HEY, it was like someone gave me some MDMA, and I loved my toddler SO MUCH. And I was back to feeling like my parenting strategy consisted of slightly more than helplessly snarling at my child. So now I can at least predict next month.

ahem

Enjoy, Bun Bun. You’ve got 19 days of Mama’s sunny disposition left.

17 Comments Post a comment
  1. Oh man. I am afraid to utter this “out loud” because I know that it will change soon but I haven’t had a period in about 21 months and it has been pretty lovely. I may have [had] some expertise in the field of biochem but this whole fertility rollercoaster has brought home just how much chemistry is involved in mood (scientifically speaking, I’d say around 99.46 percent of mood is determined by chemistry). The biggest bummer, however, is that understanding this does ZERO to affect outcome. I say we begin researching a chemical solution to that week-or-so of hating (MDMA? High doses of chocolate?).

    For bun bun’s sake.

    May 1, 2013
  2. Oh this post is so very timely. I thought the Cray Cray was just me. SIGH.

    May 1, 2013
  3. Oh this is so depressingly true! I never feel like I get PMS–I certainly have irritable times but I’ve never been able to track them to a specific point in my cycle, probably because I’m so damn irregular anyway. Still, it’s true. You just have those days where you cannot be the patient parent.

    May 1, 2013
  4. Oh, man, it never occurred to me to think about CRABBY PARENT in relation to my period. Hmmm.

    May 2, 2013
  5. I simultaneously love not having my period and wish it would come back so we could TTC #2. I analyse every twinge and pimple – it’s quite perverse. If after #2 it never comes back, I will be quite fine with that!

    Also, as usual your charts are genius.

    May 2, 2013
  6. I feel for you – I hate PMS. I am currently taking a thing that may or may not be helping, (called very ill-advisedly LADY COMFORT. Laydee comfort? Isn’t that terrible?). I would try anything.

    It is good to know I am not alone, therefore. Sorry about that! But thanks.

    May 2, 2013
  7. I hear you. And I am sorry. And envy your chart making skills. Come with chocolate, progesterone, it’s the least you can do.

    May 2, 2013
  8. Buckets of gore. I love this line.

    May 2, 2013
  9. Ha! I love the graph! It totally makes sense that the insistent demands of a toddler + PMS would not be a good combination.

    May 2, 2013
  10. Ana #

    And you just relieved all my guilt for Monday’s rage-fest. (my voice is still hoarse from the screaming). I’m blaming it in on the new birth control I’ve been taking that is making my hormones wack-a-doo.

    May 2, 2013
  11. I haven’t even had a chance to chortle online about the ISBN and Incident Report posts (both brilliant).

    This is so true. Some days are just OMYGODEVERYTHINGSUCKS!

    May 3, 2013
  12. that “liking toddler” label has had me cracking up for days. also: me too. all of it. and this week. fuck.

    May 4, 2013
  13. Periods suck in so many ways. Especially the buckets of gore ones. I have made it my life goal to avoid them from this point forward.

    I live for those MDMA feeling moments with the two old.

    May 4, 2013
  14. You are a true scientist, bunny.
    Maybe you can ask the husband to take over on those days?

    May 4, 2013
  15. Maybe you can label this condition and create a new diagnostic category and propose a drug to treat it and sell it to the pharmaceutical industry and make millions. Wait. Oh, never mind, that’s been done already.
    You and Bun Bun enjoy that awesome follicular phase.

    May 7, 2013
  16. That’s how you can tell a REAL scientist: the graphs. Delightful.

    (Happy birthday to Bun Bun – a little late – too.)

    May 8, 2013
  17. This whole thing is great. I wish I was systematic enough to take note of the day-mood correlation, but whenever they fall, man, the crazy days are CRAZY AND MAMA GETS SHOUTY! I’m sorry, kiddo. The MDMA days are fun, though!

    May 14, 2013

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