Two tales of bodily fluids
The first. Bun Bun is toilet trained! My Magical Parenting Instinct had been telling me it was TIME. But when I read the signs of readiness lists, it was like no, yes, kinda, yes, no, no, so I kept holding off, but also kept feeling like it was TIME. As always, I refused to read about it, or buy books, or any of that time wasting nonsense. Then Sarah wrote a brilliant post about her experience which appealed to me for several reasons.
1. She suggests that one might make this decision in the absence of signs of readiness lists. HOORAY!
2. For example, she suggests that having a child who resists diaper changes with every fiber of her being could be a pretty valid cue.
3. She used the three day method, which is the only method I’d heard of, so it constitutes my entire knowledge base for toilet training and is therefore the best method.
4. She notes that sooner can work better than later. This is what my Magical Parenting Instinct has been telling me, as previous experience has shown that Bun Bun has a sweet window where she’s more compliant about something she might later be less compliant about (Example: She’s been sleeping on a floor bed for six months and has only now realized she can GET UP AND GET A BOOK.)
It’s been a bit over a week, and she’s doing very well. Saturday we pulled the trigger, using Sarah’s post plus this Baby Center post that provides some structure for people like me who crave structure. We didn’t do any of the preparation stuff suggested there, just no diaper when she woke up, naked from the bottom down all day. Rolled up the rugs, waterproof pads and towels at hand. We set up a toilet in the two rooms we tend to use and hunkered down for a pretty boring day. It’s amazing what a little conditioning can accomplish. As of today, she’s still having accidents and there are still a number of kinks to work out, but she’s depositing both her liquid and solid waste in the toilet like a fucking PRO.* We’ve accomplished all this without any rewards other than praise, and, the most important thing of all, without using the word potty, which, like tummy time, makes my skin crawl.
The second. So maybe you’re thinking I sound like a pretty competent, responsible person? Not so! Last week I got drunker than I have ever been in my LIFE. And I like the drinkin’. I have googled signs of alchoholism before. (The fact that the question about having a drink in the morning still makes me gag is a good sign…) Having a drink has always been part of my approach to life, though it’s also true that the years when I couldn’t (because I was hoping I might be pregnant or doing fertility treatments or hoarding MAAAAD babies) did lead to a certain OMG I MUST DRINK ALL THE TIME TO CATCH up mentality. But even in my reckless youth I knew my limits and was responsible about it. The time in high school when I drank the COFFEE MUG of vodka very quickly is one exception and…last week. I went out for drinks with BFB (remember her, old timers?) and I did it WAY TOO UP. I crawled into bed, but it wasn’t long before I was up again, headed for the bathroom. Instead, I ran into the wall, giving myself this gorgeous smokey eye.
Then…there was a lot of vomiting. OMG the vomiting, the endless vomiting. At regular intervals until about noon the following day.
I think this episode was just a case of forgetting that several cocktails is not the same as several glasses of wine, and that I am now extremely old and therefore less able to metabolize alcohol. But it is one of several reasons I have decided to contact my old therapist and get a psychological tune up. Because things are both wonderful and awful at the same time, and I need someone to check my psychological timing or maybe it’s my mental crankshaft or my intellectual fuel injection or my spiritual ignition coil. Can you tell I took auto shop in high school? Anyway, you’ve been reading about the wonderful, but at another time I’ll write about the awful.
*How it went, in case I need to know.
Day 1: whisked her to T every time she started to pee, saying Pee goes in the toilet! This is now how she alerts us to her needs, by the way. Pee goes in the toilet! Praised her lavishly for any hit. After about 13 hits she got the idea and started running for T, but mostly too late. Spent a lot of time outside to minimize cleanup. Asked her to pee before nap and bed, and she did!
Day 2: Same. Planned to go for short outing but she took an extra long nap. I was getting a little discouraged because she was still peeing mostly on the floor, and I wondered if maybe she just didn’t have the bladder control. How like me to be discouraged on DAY TWO.
Day 3, my day alone with babies. One accident in the morning, but otherwise a hit every time, AND two dumps in the T! Which was encouraging as I’d been worrying about her bowels. But she couldn’t resist the power of OATMEAL.
Days 4-7: Much the same. Nanny took her for a long outing and she peed in carseat on way home. On day 5 we had a doctor’s appointment and she peed in her portable toilet, which I cleverly set up the moment we got to the room. YAY!
Days 8-9: Took a dump on the floor, but had been trying to get to T. No piss accidents.
Day 10: My day alone with babies. All dumps in T, but one piss accident immediately upon going outside.
Day 11: One piss accident.
Blah blah blah. She’s reliably pissing on command before naps and bed or before going on an outing. We need to work on waiting a little before springing up and dripping on things…She’s still going naked on the bottom at home and wearing lose pants when out. But we’re traveling in a couple of weeks, so may need to bring clothes at home into the picture… Accidents are still common, but I’m very, very proud of this little Bun!