The incredible shrinking classroom
Fuuuuuuck. The semester has started, and I am for sure not quite keeping my head above water. It’s a combination of my new career ambitions and the fact that the number of projects I’ve got going on has reached some critical point where I can no longer manage them all and some collaborators who are being complete fucktards and the fact that I haven’t taught during the fall semester in TWO YEARS.
What was I doing during those fall semesters? Why, hoarding babies, of course!
The last time I taught during the fall semester I found out (in the first week of classes) that I was pregnant with Bun Bun. Oh, how I remember those days–I kept an air-sickness bag in my backpack in case I needed to discretely duck behind the podium to vomit. (I did not need to.) It was incredible to have such a huge secret joy–a kind of constant contrapuntal thinking. Blah blah blah course content OMG I’M PREGNANT blah blah blah…
One of the courses I teach in the fall is a bigish (150) intro course, and I’ve taught it in the same room for three or four years. In my memory, the room was VAST. It’s got stadium seating, and in my mind, the seats went on foreeeeeever.
When I walked into my classroom for the first time this year, I was surprised at how small it was. COZY, even. It was just like that experience of going back to an elementary school or a library or some place you went as a child, and being shocked at how TINY the desks are, how LOW the water fountain is.
I HAVE GROWN. I don’t know whether it’s tenure or babies or both, but I have grown.