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I am my own Barbie Deluxe Styling Head Doll

Thank you for your thoughts on my hair and makeup quandary. It’s like I have those cool girl friends all the TV shows tell me I should have.  I’ve been mulling them over (the thoughts, not the cool girlfriends). Like, why do I not think twice about shaving my legs but baulk at putting on face paint? That’s weird. And several people noted that if I cut my hair and don’t like it, it’s not like I can never again achieve the glory that is my current look. I started to realize that I am attached to these actual hairs. This biomaterial and I have been together forever, through good times and tough times. If I cut it off, I can never get it back. There’s also the slightly less poetic fact that it’s going to grow back grey. Some of my lost youth is still attached to my head right now.

I was also thinking about Rosalind’s suggestion that I figure out what I like about my hair. Answer: The length. That’s about all there is to like. So as much as I am encouraged by the idea that I can have a professional haircut that won’t leave me in tears and that will just result in nicer version of what I’ve got, I have to get over some emotional obstacles first. So no hair appointment yet.

BUT! There is a good interim solution. The other night I was in the bathroom waiting for my toddler to take a dump and I realized that I can be my own Barbie Deluxe Styling Head Doll. I have enough hair that I can take the bottom and use it to create a sense of what a shorter cut would look like. Also, because the bottom is so much lighter, I can even get a sense of what it would look like all dyed and whatnot. When I’m ready I’ll do a poll and you guys can totally decide which I get. After all, you are my cool girlfriends.


17 Comments Post a comment
  1. This is fun. I’ll save my favorite for the official pole, but I do have one!

    I think it’s impossible to solve the labyrinth of how we come to have all our many idiosyncrasies, and we all hold some weird, conflicting opinions about shit. Head hair, good; leg hair, bad. Works for me.

    April 29, 2014
  2. Rosalind #

    The medium-length is nice. You could even go a little longer and it’d look cool.

    April 29, 2014
  3. I, too, have an opinion about which length looks best (though it would be easier to give a really informed opinion if I could see your real face. . . I know, I know, it’s an anonymous blog).

    Can’t wait for the poll!

    April 29, 2014
  4. Aaaaaargh I managed to delete my *own* comment. Brilliant.

    Recap: I had hair past my hips until I was 22 and I loved the short haircut I got and I still cried, so just a warning, even great professional haircuts can leave someone in tears; I like the short one, obviously; as for shaving/makeup, I see it as varying degrees of performative femininity (difference between sober flats and hooker shoes: large, esp. in societal message being conveyed), so maybe makeup is more toward hooker shoes for you.

    April 29, 2014
  5. This is fun! But if you love the length, keep it for another while.
    Also, I’m very lazy about shaving my legs. Which usually doesn’t matter, but then at the beach I wonder if I could have captured more of that stray hair.

    April 30, 2014
  6. Nicky #

    I like the chin-length short! Your hair actually does look similar to mine (though longer, and thicker). I’ve been loving my chin-length haircuts for several years now.

    April 30, 2014
  7. Okay, now that I’m seeing that you have no face, I’m not sure what make up advice is appropriate. Definition, maybe?

    If you want to cut your hair, I like the upper right option, which I suppose I would, since my own hair choices are…conservative.

    April 30, 2014
  8. Those Barbie heads are freaky.

    Start with the medium. You can always cut more. It takes a while to grow back.

    the last picture made me smile. And today sucks. So thank you 🙂

    April 30, 2014
  9. Sweetie, no offense, honestly (I love you and your humor and babies and all and I read your every blog post), but that hair doesn’t look qll that lovely. A professional hair cut is not a terrible idea. I only go about once a year because I’m awfully lazy, but my hair looks FAR bettet after I went, more alive and strong and stuff. No need to go all overboard, just a tad of detangling and refreshing would do the trick. Don’t be offended, please. I know it’s always awesome to listen to complete strangers’ advice… 😉

    April 30, 2014
    • Hey man, what are strangers for if not to give it to you straight.

      April 30, 2014
  10. I think we must have some mental check lists based on which we have gathered here (*bows to darling ladies around*). I too went from long hair, up to my bottom, to very short, “barely able to tuck it behind my ears” short. I told the hairchopper (that hag was NO hairdresser) that I wanted something like Cybill Shepherd in Moonlighting (my hair being poker straight). I got a very short, merinowool permed bob. Obviously, I howled in the bathroom for hours. Mum was kind enough to ease up on the “I told you so”-s, and held me and told me that it will grow back. She was right.
    Based on that experience, I would advise you to not go the very short route, but take it gradually. The layered medium length one would be a good choice, it is quite different from the current long hair, so you have the dramatic difference, but still long enough to pull it up in a pony tail, or messy bun, and get the former look back (more or less). The asymmetrical bob is my love/hate cut, it works until the hair grows back and needs a trim, I love how this cut looks, but I hate that it needs so much maintenance. And when I let it grow and pull it back in a ponytail, it looks weird and puny. Still, it is my first choice of haircut when cutting hair makes a comeback on the table. 🙂
    As for colour, after years of having tried all colours, I went back to my original colour, and after almost ten years of that, I got some highlights, few and only a tone or two lighter, there is the air of lighter colour, but it does not actually show roots and such. You can try that, and if you can keep up with it, you can even go lighter/darker with another set of highlights later on. For my, right now, “keeping up” means twice a year, which defies the “keep up” definition, but it is not a striking change, and it helps camouflaging the grey (more or less).

    April 30, 2014
  11. I had one of those Barbie Deluxe Styling Head Dolls at my grandparents’ cottage, and I believe the base was the same blue as your shirt. Thank you for the freaky stroll down memory lane and the hilarity.
    You long hair seems like your ™. It must be difficult to even contemplate making a change. But at the same time, it looks like you wanna. So I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next chapters of your hair biopic.
    I think short hair would suit you. And that you would still be a kickass, amazing, strong, resilient BUNNY with it short.
    In the mean time, looks like you (and us. thanks) are having fun with the possibilities.

    April 30, 2014
  12. Ana #

    I rarely get my hair cut, like once a year, but I’m not attached in any way to my hair—it grows quickly and I know whatever disaster could occur would quickly be reversed. I’m just lazy and cheap. I actually really like all the 3 “alternate reality” hair-dos you modeled. I do think when I go too long between cuttings, (like the most recent, 14 months), it starts to look….less lively and healthy. So there is that.

    April 30, 2014
  13. Medium length is my fav from the barbie heads…now to my discouraging assvice….I once had long hair and had it cut. It has never been the same since. I struggle with this layer or that texture. Growing out oddly and feeling like I actually do have to go back to get the craziness cut by the same professional in six weeks to maintain said crazy layers. I also do not wear make up. I mean I have some and sometimes, like on my wedding day and a few other times I have worn it, but I find hard to handle. In high school I let someone talk me into putting foundation on every day and I always had an orange face but no one told me that. I see it now in the pictures. Oompa loompa orange. So I just don’t. Mostly the not having enough time to do such a thing is the first thing that stops me. I guess *I* don’t want to use my me time putting makeup on. I’d rather sneak away with a book.

    This comment is really about you, I swear, don’t cut it unless you want to. Yes it grows back. I always wore my hair up too but now I don’t have the option to take it down and try to look put together, but in time that option will present again. So yeah. I’ll support your decision long or short. It will look great.

    April 30, 2014
  14. More interesting stuff. It seems we women have complicated relationships with our appearance.
    (!) My mother always put me off having very long hair because it was “drippy” and dyed hair was tantamount to being a trollop. In fact, she had weird ideas of ownership of MY hair, now I think of it.

    But you’re not my therapist! Sorry. If you’d like to keep the length, would you learn some cool ways of putting it up? Too much of a pain-in-the-arse? I see women with lovely plaits and chignons. Otherwise, maybe the medium cut would be a place to start. Less trauma. I don’t enjoy the hairdressering experience, (No, I am not ever going anywhere nice on my holidays.) but it is vitally important as I have a fringe, which goes Old English Sheepdog very rapidly if not hacked off regularly.

    May 1, 2014
  15. Thanks for brightening up my day, Bunny. As you know we have similar hair. And after years of doing nothing, I have finally succumbed to the professional haircut about once a year. Mostly because, being long and thick, it just reaches a stage where it is unmanageable.

    I try to be very specific with hairdressers, and usually I ask them to trim it and cut the weight out, and put a few layers around the face. This way, I keep the length, but it’s more manageable, and actually seems to have a bit of style and a shape. I usually end up thinking they cut it a bit short, but it only takes a few weeks to grow out to where I’m happy.

    Also, given that you aren’t keen on the salon (at least at this stage), I wouldn’t recommend the bob or short do, as that is going to require a lot of maintenance. I think the mid-length style looks nice on you.

    In summary:
    Pros: More manageable and stylish hair. You will feel like a glamazon when you leave the salon with fabulous hair.

    Cons: Expensive. Whole process is fraught with danger. The risk that my fabulous hair will be ruined.

    I hope this helps. I will stop talking now.

    May 6, 2014
    • It totally does help. It really encourages me to think that Our Hair can be trusted in the hands of a professional. Except my part of our hair is thin, and yours is thick. SIGH! But you live in the future, so I have faith in your opinion.

      May 6, 2014

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