I was right about hair cuts.
I was actually kidding about allowing you to choose my hair style via a poll. Sorry to disappoint. But I DID get a hair cut.
I asked the lady if there was something she could do that would make me look better knowing that I was not going to style or blowdry my hair. Oh yeah, no problem! she said. We agreed that we shouldn’t do anything drastic. She was surprisingly unwilling to tell me what to do. I thought these people were like fucking artists who couldn’t wait to CREATE all up on your head. But no. She asked what I wanted, I said I didn’t know, we went in circles like that for a while.
Before she started, I told her that most everyone I’d talked to had a horror story about a bad hair cut. Don’t be that horror story for me, I requested. She promised she wouldn’t. Then she washed my hair and cut some off. It took about 15 minutes. Then she spent about 45 minutes blowdrying it. In the end, I looked nice. My hair had some body, and was unusually smooth. The smoothness made the sproingly grey hairs that stick up on the top look…not as bad! I spent the rest of the day feeling like a stylish lady who knows how to style hair.
But the morning after, just as I suspected, my hair was merely a shorter version of the way it was before. Frizzy, boring, flat. You kind of can’t tell how frizzy and flat it is, but take my word for it.
I think I actually look a bit worse, because now you can tell I tried. Before I just looked like a hippy who didn’t care. Before my hair was unflattering, but there was something interesting about it. Now it’s unflattering and boring. And I’m disappointed that I can’t actually look nice every day just by getting a haircut once, and I feel sort of stupid for doing something that logic told me would not achieve anything.
But I’m also glad I tried it out. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle. I won’t have to wonder anymore. And I know what my best looks like, with professionally styled hair. Or, say, my 80%. I’m sure with the world’s best stylist I could have looked 10-20% more good.
And you know what? My 80% is only about 30% better than my totally unstyled normal. So I guess that makes me happier about my 50% look. It is really and truly not worth the trouble to get to 80%.