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The Black Hole Bed

The Black Hole Bed. A bed with a gravitational pull so strong that nothing can escape from it.

Not even light.

Not even……….toddlers.

s7d4.scene7 copy

I need one.

I’ve gotten off easily on the sleep front, I know. Ever since the babies were about 7 months old, when the clock hits 7pm, I am free to do as I please. We have a sweet, lovely night-time routine, then my duties are FUCKING OVER and they go happily to sleep on their own. Sure, plenty of nights there were multiple wake ups for sick babies or inexplicably crying babies, plenty of changing sheets in the darkness, getting no sleep at all… But that’s all totally fucking easy compared to the horror stories I’ve watched/am watching some of you live through. And I guess what I’m going through right now is still totally fucking easy compared to being woken up over and over and over all night long.

That said, the current situation we’ve got going on is turning me into a crazy person. As silly as it might sound, it’s a big part of the reason I think I can’t possibly manage a third child. Not because I think this situation will go on forever, but because I am a raging monster who can’t stand her children and dreads taking care of them. Bedtime used to be sweet. Now I fucking hate it.

I need HEEEEEEELP. Even though I know I’m going to be all I TRIED THAT. WAAAH! I CAN’T DO THAT BECAUSE OF X LOGISTICAL REASON. WAAAAH!

Okay. It all started when Bunlet outgrew his sleeping cage. Once he had a floor bed, he started running around during his nap. It kept Bun Bun from sleeping (recall that they share a room) and drove me wild because I couldn’t rest during naptime either. We tried everything we could think of, but none of it worked. He was tired as fuck but just wouldn’t sleep. Sometimes. Other times he’d be fine. Anyway, we spent a lot of time strategizing, but it was tolerable because nights were still fine.

Until they weren’t. It’s been up and down, on and off, for months now. Mr. Bunny and I take turns putting them down. We put them down with their nice soothing routine, they’re quietly lying in their beds, we leave. Soon we hear the patter of little feet and shrieks of laughter. We go in and they scamper back to bed, giggling. We leave. Pitter patter shriek scamper giggle. It goes on and on, for an hour or more. They are shut up in their room–it’s not an issue of them coming out, just an issue of what they DO in there. (There are two doors to their room. One we keep closed. One opens on to the bathroom they share with us, and we HAVE to keep their door open so Bun Bun can get up and use the toilet, but we keep our door closed. They can’t open them.)

We have tried:

1. Letting them patter and shriek–maybe they will put themselves to bed when they are ready. Maybe they would, eventually, but while we wait, they get up to some insaaaaane mischief. I mean, there’s basically NOTHING for them to play with, but every time we’ve tried leaving them to it, they’ve found a way to destroy something in a hugely messy way. Like when they got the scissors out of the childproofed cabinet and snipped up the shower curtain. (Awesome moment: I came in and Bunlet was snipping, and Bun Bun said I’m waiting for my turn. Which, THANK GOD she was willing to wait patiently, because those scissors are sharp.)

2. A later bedtime. Maybe they’re not tired yet. Pattern is the same, just an hour later.

3. Skipping nap. Maybe they’re not tired. Pattern is the same, just with hysterically tired children.

4. Repeatedly putting them back in their beds with firm reminders and increasingly less interaction. This strategy only works if you can do it without getting angry. I seriously can’t. This was actually the source of the hitting episode…

5. Time outs and various kinds of consequences. Works for Bun Bun, but it sort of doesn’t matter because it doesn’t work for Bunlet. If one of them is up, they might as well both be up.

6. Exploring whether it’s our obvious frustration that’s causing them to act this way. If we can just understand that it will pass, it’s just a phase, if we can just get into the right mental frame of mind they won’t play this particular game anymore… This strategy only works if you can get into that magical frame of mind. I seriously can’t.

7. One of those alarm clocks that has a sun and a moon. Bun Bun liked it, but Bunlet mostly just wanted to unplug it and poke at it.

8. Staying in the room. They’ll stay in bed as long as I’m there, but this strategy only works if you can do it without getting angry. I seriously can’t. They provoke me. You know, Bunlet will see how much of his body he can get off the bed before I put him back. Then they laugh. I lose my SHIT. Plus, is standing there for an hour really an improvement over having to come back in? Only if it leads to them not doing this anymore.

9. Some stuff I’m forgetting right now.

We have NOT tried

1. Offering to leave a door open if they will stay in bed. The internet suggests using this as a bargaining chip. Not sure it will work now, since the’ve been sleeping with closed doors for years.

2. Putting them in separate rooms. Eventually we plan to do this, but it would be SO great if we didn’t have to do it yet. We want to keep our guest room for as long as we can.

3. Lying down with them. Lying down with them does not mesh with my parenting philosophy. Won’t bother explaining why, just consider it OFF the table. But I have tried rubbing Bunlet’s back and other putatively soothing things. See 8 above.

4. Sticker chart style rewards. Could work.

5.  Lots of other things.

Looking over the list, it certainly jumps out at me that my inability to not get angry is mentioned a lot. I have an appointment with my old therapist in a couple of weeks, and can certainly work on that angle. Mr. Bunny is suffering from the same reaction, so even after I am fixed, he won’t be. But if I can transform into a magic person with no normal feelings, I can certainly take over bedtime.

They are actually just about to go from floor beds to real beds (supposed to be delivered today!) so it’s a great moment for new strategies. If you have any, lay ’em on me.

34 Comments Post a comment
  1. kel24 #

    Oh Bunny I get it. I SO get it. My oldest of 4 kids is 6, youngest 14 months.

    They all had their own rooms and great sleepers..napping til age 4-5 but now the 6 and almost 3 year old boys share. We found for us that letting them read in bed together with a timer after bedtime routine had them going to bed ok, the almost 3 year old is still in a crib and talks to himself and plays until he falls asleep (my kids are in a crib til age 3 just cause they still nap and I don’t want to give that up ha!)
    I think the only reason our combo works is because our 6 year old is tired from K, so he is fast asleep and the 3 year old has no one to mess with!

    My advice may not be the best….but if it gets to the level of crappy sleep (I am a mean mama if I don’t get sleep!) I think my kids all sleep better apart. My oldest is gone all day, so my almost 5 year old has quiet time in her room and the younger boys nap in their rooms separate. The days the almost 3 year old fights naps, which is rare but he needs them, I put him to bed an hr before the 6 year old so he is already asleep. They love sharing a room, love it, but for naptimes especially they do so much better separated or if one goes down before the other. If you don’t want to split them up for a little while at least…can you put one to bed before the other? That may make the second child go down easier.

    It will end eventually I promise but man that black hole : (

    March 25, 2015
  2. Nice visual graphic. I would have personally used a brown black hole -( ha that doesn’t make sense) to account for the shit oozing out of the diaper when I get so tired of the non-sense I bring the culprit into my bed so I can sleep. Not a good idea though. You don’t need to start that. And laying down with them at night…only made things worse when I tried it so I don’t do that either.

    My boys have gone on and off with room sharing. Middle Bee is on a floor bed now in his own room. We had to seperate them because of too much ruckus = no sleep. However last night Big Bee said he wanted to share a room again with Middle Bee so I may find myself doing what you’re doing which is looking for help with this BS. I wish we left MB in his crib until he was 3 as we did with BB except BB was a different kid who didn’t have any desire to climb out and explore.

    So I’m going to leach off of your “been through this and here is the answer” comments with how to alleviate this problem and try it. If you find some relief do let me know. The other day I forgot it was my birthday until noon because I’m so fucking sleep deprived. It damages my sense of self and my ability to keep my screaming at bay. I hate this.

    I’m hoping your readers have a miracle cure or at least some really good ideas.

    March 25, 2015
    • OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And I forgot to list “screaming at the top of my lungs” as a thing I’ve tried.

      March 25, 2015
  3. California mom #

    I would have to 2nd separate rooms. That’s all we’ve done–no guest room and I was too scared to try sharing so from the start it’s been the plan. Had to give up “office” for kid 2. Worth it. I could easily see my good sleepers getting into mischief if together. Maybe once they are older it’ll be better. I shared a room and don’t remember shenanigans with my sister. My kids are only 2 and 4 do together it is.

    Personally I’d worry about noise keeping them from sleeping/escapees with the door open thing. Our youngest can open the door now so we had to get one of those plastic knob covers. Older kid can open too but rarely ventures out.

    March 25, 2015
    • We have a plastic knob cover with foil duct tape on it!

      March 25, 2015
      • SRB #

        Same. I sewed the two pieces together with garden twine because HGB can pry that open in about 4 seconds.

        March 26, 2015
  4. Clearly I have no strategies beyond the ones you outline. I do wonder what would happen if you split them up, or if that’s just having to deal with the same crap in two different rooms?

    Actually something that worked moderataely well for these sorts of antics was giving Tiny Boy a limited number of chips (from a game) that he could give me when he paged me; if he used them up, he lost TV the next day (yes, not a logical consequences, but there really isn’t one…)

    March 25, 2015
  5. Brem #

    Have you tried not putting them to bed at the same time? Put whoever is the heavier sleeper down first so they won’t wake if there is some noise? Or (simpler than a sticker chart) having a reward ready to give her in the morning if she stays in bed – something she ONLY gets for that behavior. Print out a picture of it that she can hold or put next to her bed to remind her? Your little guy probably doesn’t have the ability to delay gratification yet, which might make the whole thing go out the window, though. Did he climb out of his crib? If not, you might want to put rails on his bed and he just might think they are keeping him in! My sister’s kid never realized she could climb out! Sorry, this sounds frustrating!

    March 25, 2015
  6. Kristine #

    I understand your love of your guest room, but I think it’s reached that stage where it’s time to separate them. My twins shared a room until we moved to a bigger house a year ago, so until the age of 5. This was fine until around age 3, and then the nap time became a nightmare. I could tell they still needed their naps, and in fact they still nap on the weekends (they are in kindergarten), but they would just get up to all kinds of trouble and I would lose my mind. I stay home and I had a little baby who was already tough, so nap time was the only thing saving me. When they started ruining that for me (yes, irrational, I know, but that’s how it felt), I did not handle it well. I finally started separating them for nap time by putting one in my bedroom and the other in their bedroom. It wasn’t ideal because I had to avoid my bedroom during that time, but it was totally worth it. Now that we have moved and each kid has his/her own room it is SO much better. My twins still sleep together at night for the most part, but if/when they do nap, I always separate all of them.

    I sympathize with you, I really do. I try so hard to keep my calm and not lose my shit, but I fail more than I care to admit. I try to forgive myself, and for the most part I succeed, but I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done and said in the heat of the moment. It sounds like your kids really egg each other on, which is both cute and dastardly and super annoying all at the same time, I’m sure. Separating them could possibly, maybe, fingers crossed, be your ticket to getting your post-7pm life back. I wish you luck!

    March 25, 2015
  7. Drinking and/or sedatives. I mean, I mostly jest, but. Um… we give Bug a toddler sized dose of melatonin because it’s better than selling him. But my kids have always had separate rooms because… all the things you talk about.

    March 25, 2015
    • SRB #

      I would really love to talk to you about this. I have considered this for one of mine, but am not sure what dosage, what brand, if it makes a difference… I need to SLEEP the entire night, just ONCE

      March 26, 2015
  8. Ana #

    I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. We deal with night time coming-into-our-bed but bedtime isn’t THAT terrible most night. they share a room. BUT. My 5 year old dropped his nap at 2.5. We run him to the GROUND with activity and exercise every day and we moved their bedtime up to 8-8:30. He falls asleep pretty quickly most days. The 3 year old still naps most of the time. He is not as tired at night time, but there is no one to share in his shenanigans because big brother is snoring away. He does come out of his room to ask for water/potty/hug/somethinghurts a couple of times. I don’t think you want to move bedtime that late, we had do it because the kids don’t get home until 6 and they had no time to play and bedtime was miserable with lots of yelling for a while. with more time to tire themselves out they go down quicker.

    March 25, 2015
  9. Martha #

    wow, sounds intense. My girls share a room and luckily the older one (4) is so exhausted from her day that she usually falls asleep during the younger one’s 20-minute routine of singing, yelling, asking to be taken to the toilet (again), etc. Younger one (2) is in a crib still (only saving grace here i think). Days when the older one naps (car ride etc), they have a MUCH longer process of falling asleep. We have similar philosophy to you re: bedtime expectations.
    My friend used M&Ms as bribes where they had 5 in a little container, and every time her daughter got out of bed the parents would eat one M&M in front of her and tell her ‘one less for you tomorrow’ and apparently that worked quickly. Might be harder with the 2 kids in the same room, as incentive to play together might be greater than M&Ms are worth?

    March 25, 2015
  10. CJ #

    Hmmmmm
    My boys share a room (3 1/2 and almost 2). The youngest is the ringleader and falls on his head on a regular basis while climbing in and out of bed and attempting to scale walls (hardwood floors in an old shotgun house in New Orleans. That sound is LOUD). Both boys still in toddler beds. But my saving grace is the older one who follows all directions (but sleeps with overnite pull up because once I close and lock that door, no one comes out til the sun comes up). This works for me, but as soon as #2 potty trains, I’m sure we will be back to the drawing board.
    This parenting shit is hard.

    March 26, 2015
    • CJ #

      Oh. Bedtime is 7:30ish. Naps are 12 to 2 or 2:30. Fuck it if they fail to nap until 1:45 I’m still going in there and waking their cranky butts.

      March 26, 2015
  11. Now, I provide this suggestion without having tried it for a similar bed-time problem BUT it has worked for other bedtime behaviour issues (like leaving the bedroom) for us. Basically, you make up a sticker chart and divide it into 5 minute intervals (or however many minutes work for you, but a small number so there is rapid positive reinforcement). Tell them that you’ll sit in the room and if they stay in bed & quiet you’ll put a sticker on the chart every 5 minutes until they fall asleep. Set your timer for 5min. Tell them as you put a sticker on but If they talk/get out, reset your timer and put a cross in the box. If they get an agreed number of stickers they’ll find a surprise under their pillow in the morning. Do that for a few nights, then start to fade out by increasing the intervals between stickers & decreasing your presence.

    March 26, 2015
  12. Megan #

    Bedtime bad behavior is The Worst. Everyone is tired and parents just want to be done parenting for a few hours. And you must be so extra tired on top of everything else. I was shocked that this worked, but for a while we used a checklist of behaviors we wanted to promote. Each morning we checked off what had been done appropriately the day/night before, and wrote a new list, making expectations very clear. It certainly stopped the middle of the night “Mommy! Cover me!” I still can’t believe it worked, but it’s easy enough to try.

    March 26, 2015
  13. Nicky #

    I agree with exercising kids a lot, and separating them/doing bedtime at different times (if they’re heavy enough sleepers and you can put up with doing the whole thing twice.). I so sympathize, my two boys were little shits at bedtime too. For rather too long. Child 1’s magic trick was giving up his nap time (age 3) and instead getting some screen during his afternoon rest period. Screen is very rewarding for C1, and if kids get out of bed they immediately lose their screen for the next day. Which makes for a horrible day for mommy, but at age 4 he really remembered that punishment and it made bedtime/overnight wake ups much better.

    Screen was not such a powerful motivator for C2, though we did keep the rule in order to be consistent. C2 got a tiny smear of tobacco sauce on his tongue when he had horrible bedtime issues. (I’d touch my finger to the top of the bottle and then put that in his mouth. I did it to myself first, it’s painful but fades. Also, I always gave a glass of milk afterwards.) The immediate consequences helped him remember the bedtime rules, and he really hated the hot sauce.

    Oh, and my kids feel comforted by a nightlight and one of those dream light turtles. They get to quietly push a button and see stars on their ceiling, and it turns off after 20 min. They liked having a “music bear” that is soft, and you pull a cord to make a music box play. C2 at age 5 now still likes those two things to play with while in bed.

    I’m naturally a calm person, but the testing and laughing at bedtime made me lose my shit, too. You have my sympathy, I hope you can get bedtime figured our ASAP!

    March 26, 2015
  14. kaseypowers #

    I suck at all things sleep but could you try staggering bedtimes? Simon (3.5) and Caleb (1) have been sharing since late summer. C is too young for the running around shenanigans, but putting one down 15-30 minutes before the other allows sleep to happen for the first then the second goes down. Because I suck at all things sleep it varies who goes down first, and C is up multiple times a night – but even when we’ve done the Big Bad and let him cry for a bit it doesn’t seem to wake Simon once he’s already out. Good luck.

    March 26, 2015
  15. SRB #

    Not sure if this is useful or not, because I am now of the belief that nothing “works” as far as sleep goes….BUT.

    Okay, first…the ANGER. Yes, I understand. I do think it influences how they respond, but that doesn’t stop my rage-o-meter from going from 0 to ELEVEN in a nanosecond. I am tapped the fuck out by bedtime and I just need them to GO TO BED. So, nothing of value to contribute there, just commiseration.

    Since I have read everything currently available in English on the internet about sleep, I will tell you that I have found only ONE thing useful. That bed time does NOT need to equal sleep time. When HGB started being a travelling shrieking banshee, we did a few things to curb it. First step: lock him in his room. Safety knob on the inside, jerry-rigged so he can’t get out. He was coming out of his room 30+ times a night. NOT an exaggeration. First few nights he was like OH FUCK NO. Now, he knocks when he wants out, and he somehow gleaned that it CANNOT be for a bullshit reason. Second: we made it so that he can turn on his own lamp. He just started magically turning the light on and looking at books if he couldn’t sleep or woke up early. No idea how we accomplished this, but this is the current state of affairs. He doesn’t really nap anymore, but he does have to go in there for “rest time” every day when MJB naps. His room is above the living room, so I can hear him doing his kung fu dubstep or whatever the fuck is going on in there, but I just ignore him now. Same thing a night. Eventually, he settles down, gets in bed and goes to sleep. You don’t have to go to sleep, but you do have to go to bed, kid. BYYYEEEEE!

    I think I have to also check the “separate them” box as peeps have mentioned above. That way, if one is fucking around it doesn’t affect the other. At the very least, hopefully is helps your rage-o-meter .

    March 26, 2015
  16. Ugh, bedtime. Just ugh. I agree with splitting them up. Others have given some good reward suggestions as well. We do lay down with Seb because he goes to sleep very quickly and it’s actually a lovely time to talk about the day. Thankfully he is a champion sleeper now since Freya is still up twice a night. I’m sure you will find something that works for you and then something new will happen and all that jazz. Hmmm. Not helpful. You will find something that works for you. Until then, strength.

    March 27, 2015
  17. marion #

    Assvice ahead! I have twins, one of whom seems like your Bunlet in that she seems inexhaustible, and I share your pain. A few recommendations:

    1) Separate rooms. I know, I KNOW. I did not like this either. We tried it for naps and it eventually worked well enough that we didn’t have to do it for night time as well, so we have been able to keep the guest room for now and just warn guests that they need to vacate between 1-4pm. Maybe try for naps to begin with, and see how things go? We just put our kid in the existing guest room bed, albeit with the pillow and some stuffed animals from her bed — if your two are about to move to regular beds, you could probably do that as well in your guest room.

    2) Physical exhaustion. Is there some way you could hire an energetic college student to take them to a park or indoor playground a few days a week to wear them the heck out? Especially Bunlet? Any way to get them into a swim class? Mine are currently in a two-week class that lasts for 30 minutes per weekday, which was not particularly convenient for our schedule, but man, bedtime has been easier. Something about chlorinated water saps toddler energy, I swear. (Swim place focuses on getting kids to the “if they fall in the pool, they can keep themselves from drowning long enough to be rescued” stage, then goes from there, hence the every-day class. There must be others around of a similar mindset.) I could be totally off, but it sounds to me as though Bunlet has some quote for physical movement that he’s having a hard time meeting, hence the exhaustion not leading to sleep.

    3) Rewards. Ours were not particularly impressed by the sticker charts (though they did love the stickers themselves), but telling them that, for example, they could have lollipops in the morning if they stay in bed and go to sleep has had some success. My kids are super-skinny, and the one who has a hard time going to bed prefers celery to pizza, so I don’t worry too much about the sugar thing, but you may prefer other rewards.

    4) Melatonin. This did not work for my kids (sigh) but I know that it works for others, as Jenny F Scientist mentioned.

    5) Ceiling star projectors — we have a Sound B turtle and a Dream Lites pet.

    6) Super-cool bedding sets for their new beds that they pick out themselves.

    7) If you allow screen time, cutting it off a couple of hours before bed time. I, uh, am a neglectful mother who allows screen time, but have noticed that if it gets cut off 1/2 hours before the kids go take a bath at night, bedtime is less painful.

    8) Gritting your teeth until they magically turn into teenagers who never want to get up in the morning. (One of my strategies as well!)

    Sorry you’re having to go through this. Wish I had some magic words of advice.

    March 27, 2015
  18. Strategy #1 works for us: We used to have her sleep with the door closed because then the room was dark and quiet, but she kept getting out of bed, etc., and eventually we told her she could have the door open but SHE MUST STAY IN BED, and if she got out once, the door would be shut.

    It actually worked. Now, she’s used to sleeping with the door open, but we have door closing in our pocket as a threat if there’s ever a problem (hasn’t really been since we moved).

    March 27, 2015
  19. Anonymous #

    We ended up sort of giving our older son the guest bed. Told him it was a special reward kind of deal and he could only sleep in there if he would stay in there and not go bother his brother. He has some books in there but everything else (clothes, toys) are still in the other room and when we do have a guest one of them sleeps in a sleeping bag in the formerly shared room. Has worked out much better!

    March 27, 2015
  20. Jos #

    Our kiddos share a room (15 months and 2yrs3months) and it’s gotten to the point that we have to lay them down 30-60 minutes apart so that one is already asleep and they’re not tempted to stay up and talk and get into mischief together. Might be worth a shot? The older one likes getting a little extra time with us each night, and it’s made bedtime a million times easier since we made the switch. We still do PJs, books, prayers together…and then little one goes to sleep and big one gets to come downstairs and watch a show/read a book/whatever with us.

    March 27, 2015
    • Jos #

      Just read the rest of the comments and I see I’m not the only one who suggested that. Also seconding splitting them up at nap time. We put the little in the guest room in the pack-n-play so they both get solid midday naps too.

      March 27, 2015
  21. Sheryl #

    Give them their own rooms; your sanity is worth MORE than keeping a guest room. Perhaps if you put a day bed in one of their rooms if you had guests you could move the kids together for the night and the guests could sleep in the room with the day bed. Or buy a couch that has a pull out bed to put in the basement (if you have one) or one of the kids rooms.

    March 27, 2015
  22. Nothing has baffled me more about parenting than the issue of sleep. I NOW know that it is a very very common struggle but I was clueless going into this whole thing. I would love to be able to help you but I do pretty much every thing wrong and have been “rewarded” with all manner of sleep difficulties (or, as I prefer to believe, the other way around).

    I hope that all of these wise comments help you to improve the situation and regain your evenings. Truth be told, I have only very recently gained a little bit of evening time and holy crap is it ever wonderful!!

    March 27, 2015
  23. Bunny, if I call to mind all the sleeps I’ve had in the last 3 years of my life, the one single night where I feel like I slept the heavenly sleep of sloths was in your guest room. I am president and CEO of the organization Save Bunny’s Guest Room From Any Transformation (just think of me like a historical society of sorts. One who is really focused on one particular room in your house).

    That being said, you know you’re going to have to do it anyway because of Bunter. So you either do it now, or do it later. But three kids in that room is probably too much, even though it’s a big beautiful room. I say, buy yourself a little sanity now. But that’s just my 2 cents (and because before ever getting involved with the Save Bunny’s Guest Room From Any Transformation Society, I was and remain the most fervent member of the Save Bunny’s Sanity Council).

    March 28, 2015
    • Steph #

      Just wait for me to “guest” there first 😉

      April 3, 2015
  24. I’m going to agree with the separate bedtime recommendations. Our two refuse separate bedrooms and they didn’t much like the idea of separate bedtimes either (at least, the one going to bed first didn’t), but we put down my youngest first and without her brother there she’s almost always sleep within half an hour. Then the oldest goes to bed.

    On the occasions that his sister’s still awake, it’s still a pain. But separately, when they use their stalling techniques to get us to come back up, it proved to be a lot easier to figure out the solutions.

    Our biggest success in that regard was leaving their bedside lights on and permitting them to ‘read’ (inverted commas for my daughter) until they were ready to fall asleep. Reading a book has gradually become our panacea for: “I’m scared,” “I bored,” and “I can’t sleep.” (It does require a big supply of books in the bedroom, and I do spend a lot more time tidying those books back onto the shelf, but it was worth it.) I normally find them passed out with the light on and the book still in the bed.

    Hope this or some other solution works for you! I always struggle with losing any of that precious evening time.

    March 29, 2015
  25. Daniele #

    I had a similar issue with my singleton. Two things address the issue. 1. put her to bed exhausted-SUPER tired but not so much that she is a maniac through the routine. Then we rub her back until she is at that drowsy/not asleep yet place. 2. Sticker reward. It’s pretty basic for us-we just use a calendar and for every 5 stickers she gets a small toy. I keep the toy next to the calendar and visible so it motivates her.

    March 30, 2015
  26. Misfit #

    I want to say something miraculous here. I, myself, have turned to stalking the troublesome tots lady. Which, uh, helped. So, I have no fucking clue how to get my 8 month old to sleep through the night, but screaming at my almost 3 year old who was waking up just to enjoy some “daddy time” eventually worked for all the wrong reasons. I am one angry non-sleeper, myself. Add pregnant to that and I might qualify for crazy. Shit. Too much for one bunny.

    April 10, 2015
  27. As you well know, I have less than no advice on this topic (except that melatonin is nice stuff, and my peds-metabolic-specialist father thinks it’s fine). I am just here to officially award BB’s Internet Stranger a Gold Star for patience at Art time.

    April 12, 2015

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