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The babies have had croup, and I have had the adult version of croup, and everyone is very tired. So it’s the optimal time to create a spreadsheet of all the things I need to get rid of in a house that is rapidly filling up and oppressing the hell out of me. Unlike the first time I was pregnant, rather than wanting to make lots of little useless but adorable things, this time I want to Burn it All.

I guess it started with moving Bunlet to the guest room and the knowledge that someday Bunter will need a bedroom, too (though as of this morning, anyway, Bun Bun suggests that she and Bunlet and Bunter all share a bed). We are going to have to rejigger the spaces in our home such that more of them are dedicated to children. But it’s also been brewing for a while, because we’ve lived here almost 10 years, and THINGS have accumulated. I know getting rid of them won’t make me into a person who doesn’t buy things she doesn’t need. I can’t erase them–they will be sitting in a landfill or where ever till long after my grandchildren are dead and it will be my fault for not being more thoughtful. But…I still don’t want them in my house.

The problem isn’t so much that I don’t know what to do. I mean…spreadsheet. It lists all the things and the solutions for the things. E.g., for the fifty thousand broken printers and dead keyboards and suchlike, my campus has an e-cycling program, so all I have to do is get them to campus and arrange a pickup. The problem is time, and physical strength, and needing my spouse’s buy-in. I can’t move a sofa by myself.

But I hesitate to unleash my madness on him. He very much dislikes my decluttering phases and meets them with exasperated hostility. I observe that his mother’s house is packed to the gills with horrifying, mouldering CRAP…perhaps it’s familial. Or more likely he just has a different setting for what constitutes clutter, which is valid. Or even more likely he just doesn’t want to spend his time on it, because he has very little time that belongs to him. And there’s the fact that I just got rid of all our baby stuff. Which it turns out we needed. So I feel like a natural reaction on his part might be to balk at getting rid of anything again ever.

Though I contend that the mistake was not that we got rid of the baby stuff. It was failing to use birth control.

When the babies get out their scissors and cut thousands of sheets of paper into billions of microscopic pieces they then feel overwhelmed at the prospect of cleaning it all up and cry. WE CAN’T, they say. Yes, you can, I reply. You just have to start.

I guess I just have to start.

10 Comments Post a comment
  1. I suggest you ask Mr. Bunny about it when he’s half asleep so he van be all like “huh? Whaaaat? Sure.” And then hire a college student to do the heavy lifting.

    May 15, 2015
    • Had definitely thought about the college student…

      May 15, 2015
      • Nicky #

        Sneaky! But great suggestion, which is will be using in the future.

        May 15, 2015
  2. Steph #

    I get rid of things in spurts so I get this. I rented a dumpster last summer and filled the landfill with crap that my husband has been dragging around with us for far too long.

    I say, perhaps if you really want to purge some clutter offer sex and some good food. Then hire the college student. And maybe teach the babies how to use the vacuum. I’m working on that.

    May 15, 2015
  3. You poor people, CROUP. It sounds horrible and Victorian. As for decluttering – everything is work, isn’t it? So much work. Everything is work. We have to work all the time at everything. It’s so tiring.
    Let’s lie down quietly until the thought passes.

    May 16, 2015
  4. Decluttering is a springtime epidemic it seems. I feel the same way. Especially after our basement flooded and all the downstairs shit had to be relocated upstairs…I just want all of it to disappear.

    May 16, 2015
  5. Oh man. Sorry to hear about the croup. I hope it passes soon.

    I really love the idea of hiring someone to get what you need done. I dream of doing the same thing and, from the sound of it, have a rather similar impediment. While I believe in keeping it simple, I can’t help but notice how a few choice projects would really improve our living situation. My spouse, however, has this peculiar ability to live perfectly happily in a hole in the ground with a few leaves on top. I don’t exactly know how to reconcile the fact that I love him for it without loving the idea of living in that hole. Sigh.

    May 18, 2015
  6. SRB #

    “I know getting rid of them won’t make me into a person who doesn’t buy things she doesn’t need. I can’t erase them–they will be sitting in a landfill or where ever till long after my grandchildren are dead…”

    THIS SUMS IT UP. Seriously. Every feeling I struggle with in terms of Stuff. That and the buying in of the spouse. Mine wants to get rid of things too, but also wants to keep stupid stuff for stupid reasons.

    You just have to start… don’t you just HATE IT when teaching our kids things teaches us things? UGH.

    May 19, 2015
  7. the un-nesting makes sense to me. You are adding a human: you need more space. I hope Mr. Bunny can flexibly come to see things your way, and help with moving couches and printers. We can’t have you feel oppressed when you are facing such a mammoth task of growing, birthing and sustaining a new human being. We simply can’t have it.

    May 19, 2015
  8. It’s all so daunting, isn’t it? And when one’s husband puts up a front, well, that usually just makes me want to throw away all his stuff. But I don’t. Oh wait, this comment was about YOU. As always in your posts, a kernel (or more often, a…cob-ful?) of golden truth (but not corny) (I’ll shut up now): that getting rid of things won’t make you into a person who doesn’t buy things she doesn’t need. I Identify! Hope you’ve picked a small task or a delegate-able task and done or delegated it.

    May 26, 2015

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