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Revised pie

In theory, pie crust is simple. You keep your fat cold and you don’t overwork it. I used to make it just fine. But then I had a crisis of confidence: Too many people telling me how tricky it is and that the perfect crust requires iced vodka rather than water or that I should be using shortening rather than butter or this or that or blah blah blah). And then I made a bunch of bad crusts and now I’m afraid of making pie.

But I really want a good one right now. Because these are the ones currently on my table.

First, the one I made back in March, where I detail why a third pregnancy terrified the hell out of me.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 12.25.20 PM

And now, a revised pie few days away from Newborn Bunter:

Screen Shot 2015-10-15 at 9.27.34 AM


On the one hand, it’s reassuring to see that many of my sources of anxiety have faded–the anger and shame, the worries about my career and logistical issues, and of course a sizable chunk of the physical stuff is behind me. But last night we had one of those awful evenings where everyone was angry, and I hid myself in the studio and wept with despair. (While also finishing a sewing project that’s been on my to do list for ages, because who has time to just weep with despair.) How will I manage? What if Bunter is not an easy baby? What if Bunter doesn’t sleep, or nursing goes horribly this time? What if the current babies set upon their sibling like a pack of wolves, or like that one bird in that nature documentary that was always trying to kill its nest-mate when the mama bird left?

In theory, parenting is simple. You do your best, you forgive yourself for your mistakes and strive to do better. It’s just another crisis of confidence.

14 Comments Post a comment
  1. No comments on babies, but we tried the vodka dough and did not like it.

    October 15, 2015
  2. Bun Bun is inching closer to five and to kindergarten. I hope that transition is as good for you as it was for me. Then you really have TWO babies/toddlers and a big kid who might even be interested in helping. It’s a thought, anyway.

    Wishing you well, Bunny.

    October 15, 2015
  3. I have 3 kids and a professorial job (this is to show our similarities) and I guarantee that you will be fine. Things are never as bad when you are in the middle of them as they are when you are anxiously imagining them. Bunter will be a baby, with all the literal and figurative baby crap, and then he won’t. You will do great and the kids will do great, and I know you know that, but the reason I am writing it down anyway is because a) it might be helpful to see it spelled out anyway and b) I should be writing a proposal, which I obviously don’t want to do, so instead I am leaving encouraging comments because everyone needs encouragement, and it’s good karma I guess.

    October 15, 2015
    • Yes! You just guaranteed yourself a funded/ approved/ supported proposal.

      October 15, 2015
  4. I really just have one thing to say. Holy shit – Bunter is almost here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Whatever gets thrown your way, the awesome thing about having a ton of babies is that you have no choice but to become more and more experienced and capable. Sending thoughts for a very smooth delivery and recovery.

    October 15, 2015
  5. Nicky #

    The favorite pie crust in my house is a push-in crust, made with canola oil. (Shocking, I know!). You can find the recipe in the “Family Feasts for $75 a week” cookbook. Search for “push in pie crust” on the Amazon page. I literally mix the dough in the pie pan. If a pie calls for a top crust, I improvise a crumble topping. The vodka pie crust I do occasionally make, and DH asks for the push-in one next time, please.

    I can’t recall whether you’re religious, but I believe God gives you what you can handle. My second child was so much easier than my first, which was great, because I had to deal with amazing tantrum monster when child #2 came along. My friend gets easily stressed out and they both work, and they’ve been blessed with a super easy baby for their first. So, I suppose this is a roundabout way of saying you’ll be fine. Eventually. You’re a wonderfully intelligent woman, and you’ll figure out how to handle 3 kids.

    October 15, 2015
  6. I do piecrust with sugar and eggs because that way it’s basically a cookie. My preference only obviously.

    I have three kids! And it’s mostly okay! Especially once the third was old enough to sleep train (thank you, baby Jesus).

    (I personally am still kind of pissed about my Third! Surprise! Baby! But that’s just me. And she’s adorable.)

    October 15, 2015
  7. Anonymous #

    godspeed friend! My pie chart still looks like your second one on a daily basis but then I get up and do it again- soon I realize I’m doing it. Not always well but I am and I am certain that you will too. much love!

    October 15, 2015
  8. Oh honey. Agree with above. Wishing you an easy delivery and an easy baby. You can handle whatever is coming. Hope you can take some time in the next few days to just VEGETATE. Hugs.

    October 15, 2015
  9. Martha #

    Mine are currently 4.75, 2.75 and 3 months old. I also feared handling 3. There are definitely tough moments when I lose my shit a little. But my tolerance had increased and times that used to faze me aren’t so bad now. As Bunter grows it will get easier… My life is a lot calmer now than even a month ago. You can do it! Deep breath!! Good luck for tomorrow…

    October 16, 2015
  10. SRB #

    I feel like 3 babies is really just 2 babies with an extra baby on top. See? NO PROBLEM. You’re welcome.

    I have made pie crust twice, both times with vodka, and it was the motherfucking bomb. I will text you a picture, and you will see. I will note, however, that the recipe I use uses equal parts shortening and butter, and equal parts water and vodka. Which is to say that 3 babies is really just 2 babies with an extra baby on top. The extra baby gives a perfectly good pie that extra oomph needed to be the motherfucking bomb.

    October 16, 2015
  11. kel24 #

    Monday is a great day to be born, it’s my husband’s bday as well!

    Wishing you a smooth delivery and recovery and a healthy, easy baby. I have 4…the oldest is 6 1/2, my only girl is 5, my second son is 3 1/2 and third is almost 21 months. So yea…15.5 month gap, 22 month gap and 21 month gap.

    I will say…3 was the harder transition for me personally but I found that the last 2 have just been pretty easy babies. They adapted well and went along with whatever we had going on as long as they got their scheduled naps, food etc. I promise it gets easier. I think for me it was when my last little guy was sleeping through the night or at least longer stretches and we stopped nursing right before a year old. Those 2 things were just so freeing after 4 so close in age.

    You totally got this!

    October 16, 2015
  12. Andie #

    A big hug Bunny. I can understand why you are freaking out, but I think when Bunter arrives you will be fine (see all the supportive comments above). Best wishes for the arrival of Bunter.

    October 17, 2015
  13. The biggest pie question to my mind does not concern crust — obviously butter and milk are the answers — but topping. None? Whipped cream? Ice cream?

    The same applies to babies, of course, and as a scientist I’m sure you will make full use of the set of three as an opportunity to test and determine which way they are best eaten.

    October 20, 2015

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