A friend gave each of the older babies a doll when Bunter was born. The kind with a diaper you can change so you can learn to be a good baby owner? Bun Bun named hers Oh For Pete’s Sake. It’s the same name she suggested for Bunter. Bunlet named his Compost. Pretty much the best baby name ever, am I right? Bunlet likes to make crying noises and then stick Compost’s pacifier in. Very sweet, though do I really need more crying in my life?
Anyway, I actually wanted to talk about the other kind of compost. I have been composting for years. My mom always did when I was growing up, so having a bowl of scraps on the counter is normal for me. My mom just threw the scraps in a big pile in a corner of the yard. When I had a yard of my own, I figured I could do better. It’s simple, right? You add some kitchen scraps, some other stuff, and you turn it and you get magic-nutrient rich dirt for your garden! The yard came with a bin, so I used that for a while. But I never turned it, so it was just a pile of egg shells and lemon peels. No nutrient rich dirt for my garden. So then I got a tumbler, because that would solve the turning problem, right? But I didn’t put in enough BROWNS, and then there was a heat wave, and it turned into foul, horrifying sludge. And also the tumbler fills up quickly and then you can’t add new stuff until it’s dirt. So what do you do in the meantime? So I added in some trench composting, where you did a hole and dump your stuff in. That should be a perfect solution. It’s certainly a perfect solution for the wild animals. I’m going to have the fattest racoons and skunks in the kingdom. And a yard strewn with grapefruit peels. Now winter is coming. What are you supposed to do in the winter?
Obviously there’s loads of information on the internet, but the internet either a) makes it sound really simple or b) makes it sound really complicated (cut everything into two inch pieces!). So here’s what I want to know: If you compost, what do you do?