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Supersaturated

This has been an odd winter. Unusually warm, which is great except it freaks me out in a We’re all going to die way. Of course, I have also been cocooned with my infant, so the weather matters less. Life seems to pass outside my windows while I hunker down. We moved Bunter out of the little co-sleeper basket (in our bed) to a crib (at the foot of our bed). It’s like a three foot difference, but I miss her.

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Bun Bun helping her daddy put Bunter’s crib together

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So when you sleep in a crib it rains UPWARD?

She has learned how to suck her thumb, is working on grabbing her feet, sleeping like a champ. It’s a not unpleasant existence, but she is alert and Having Needs much more frequently now, so I have started going to work one day a week. It wasn’t possible to keep on top of things, and I was also going a bit NUTSO.

It’s painful to leave her. But then I feel a certain relief at the prospect of doing something other than keeping a baby from crying. She’s very easy, but there are times when she just needs to scream and I don’t enjoy screaming. And there are times when I have just had enough of the whole thing. I soaked up adorable baby and soaked it up and soaked it up and now I’m not just saturated but supersaturated. One day a week is helping me to savor the remainder of my leave rather than feeling trapped. While at work, I feel a certain panic at the number of things I’m supposed to accomplish in one day, but then I remind myself that the stakes are low. The whole pumping routine came right back–even down to the way I have to prop the pump on my desk drawer so it’s at the right height. BLAH.

So yeah, mostly good. This weekend I was a raging monster for no particular reason. (Except possibly hormones? I mean, I DO still have them and feeling like the whole world is the worst place ever is often hormone-related…). I needed to make Mr. Bunny a valentine, and this is what came out:

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The mob of children is moaning things that ours typically moan.

There’s a little card that reads: Please don’t die and leave me alone with them. I need someone who can fly a plane. (Mr. Bunny can pilot small planes.)  Not the most sentimental one I’ve ever made, but evocative, I assure you.

10 Comments Post a comment
  1. That card is pretty sweet.

    Babies can be awfully unrewarding sometimes, can’t they. Glad the days “off” help you to enjoy the days on more. With ALL THE BABIES at home, I’m not surprised you’re supersaturated. I get that way by the end of a weekend with just one sometimes.

    February 9, 2016
  2. Adorable kids (I feel nostalgic seeing Bun Bun so big, I been stalkin’ you since she was itty bitty!), excellent card. You are very talented. And I owe you a response to your very well thought out comment – I will get there.

    February 9, 2016
  3. Supersaturation can lead to sudden precipitation, you know.

    February 9, 2016
  4. I’m glad you have that one day per week to miss your babies and remember your professional self. What a wise decision. Bunter Having Needs is a different chapter of parenting three babies. Not that she didn’t have needs for the last 3.5 months, but it sounds like her capacity to vocalize them was not as loud.
    That card is all kinds of awesome. “Machine Story” I can just hear Bunlet’s insistence, and Bun Bun’s retorts.

    February 10, 2016
  5. Steph #

    You are my hero! Oh the things we have learned with baby #3. Totally rad card. Very very on point. + winters suck!

    February 11, 2016
  6. That card is fantastic! It always strikes me that you are too talented for academia but then I remember that at least you are taking advantage of the talents that can actually provide you with a decent living.

    One day a week sounds like a great solution to supersaturation. I did learn that early babyhood can be a wonderful time (the second time around) but balance is the key to survival. This one-caregiver full time model of human reproduction is completely psychotic.

    February 11, 2016
  7. SRB #

    “Oh. P.S. Mr. Bunny is just casually a pilot of small planes, in a manner similar to Indiana Jones. NBD.”

    This moment in your life sounds lovely. ❤

    February 12, 2016
  8. This sounds perfect, and good that you are getting what you need, and knowing what you need, and keeping panic at bay. Beautiful artwork on the card!

    February 17, 2016
  9. Winter Blue #

    Thanks Bunny for admitting that this weirdly warm winter is making you afraid – me too – I’m so tired of people celebrating the short mild winter – I never know what to say. Other than, don’t you read the New York Times y’all?? Almost worse than the panic is the sense that no one else is paying any attention.

    February 22, 2016

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