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40 year old toes

…And one day. My mother is visiting, so I have not had much time for quiet contemplation.

Can you believe I’ve been entertaining you with my Top Quality Musings for six years now? I do think about retiring this weblog. Most of the people in my reader don’t write anymore, so it’s a bit lonely here in the Land of The Person who is Still Hanging Around at the Party –Much to the Chagrin of the Host–After Everyone Else has Sensibly Gone Home. But…I don’t know. Maybe just one more drink? I see that you are putting on your pyjamas. That reminds me of a funny story about pyjamas…


Note compost tumbler in far background. Note birthday kimono in foreground. Hey Steph, that’s how I used the linen we bought together!

I am excited to be officially middle aged. I think having a very young infant makes me feel like a fairly young 40 year old. Though being perpetually sick, and Bunter’s new habit of rolling onto her stomach in the middle of the night and not being able to get off and crying at 3am, and 4am, and 4:30 am and 4:32 am etc. until I finally get up and feed her at 6 (she’s still in the crib in our room, so it’s pretty disruptive) is also making me a rather haggard young 40…

I think I tend to look back at Previous Me and wince at how ignorant and selfish and mean-spirited she was, and am smug about how much Current Me has grown and  mellowed and improved as a human being. And even knowing that Five Years from Now Me will wince at Current Me doesn’t stop me from being smug. (I’ve written about this before, haven’t I? Sorry. Now that I’m 40 I’m going to repeat myself even more often.) But lately I’ve been working hard at savoring things.

I was explaining the concept to the babies, and now Bun Bun will sometimes eat very slowly and say I’m savoring. I’m savoring my last infant, so round and fat and sweet. I’m savoring these toddlers who are maddening, but remarkable, and funny, and dear, and who will soon go off and have their own lives. Soon I will be savoring the birthday cake I was too tired to eat yesterday, and a very large vessel of coffee.



15 Comments Post a comment
  1. sangela71 #

    Happy Birthday!

    April 16, 2016
  2. Happy Birthday!

    April 16, 2016
  3. Happy birthday! Your birthday is < 1 week behind mine, and now I always think "I wish I did those cool pictures like Bunny does". Except then I don't. Ah, well, I can enjoy your traditions without making them mine!

    April 16, 2016
  4. Nicky #

    Happy Birthday! I do hope you keep up the blog. I like to hear about the babies, and your work, and your musings on marriage. Since I’m not connected to you on Facebook, I’d miss it. I like my internet friends, though I do not keep a blog for others to follow.

    April 16, 2016
  5. Happy birthday!!

    April 17, 2016
  6. Steph #

    Squeal and shriek…OMG OMG I spotted that lovely fabric from a mile away! Sooooo cool! what a lovely kimono and so happy to have had the fabric shopping memory with you. Hope you had the happiest birthday eva. Please consider keeping the bar open. I really enjoy reading. Who knows may surprise you with a new blog for your feed sometime soon.

    April 18, 2016
  7. Happy birthday, toes!

    April 18, 2016
  8. Happy birthday, darling. I LOVE the birthday post every year. Thank you.
    Your toes are looking mighty fine at 40, just like the rest of you.
    I feel inspired by your savouring practice. Thank you for sharing about it.
    love you.

    April 18, 2016
  9. Andie #

    Happy birthday, dear Bunny. I’ve been here for all of your birthday toes posts, and I hope there will be many more.

    April 19, 2016
  10. Em #

    Happy Birthday! Do not think of retiring. Not allowed!

    April 20, 2016
  11. Winter Blue #

    Happy birthday! Please don’t quit.

    April 20, 2016
  12. SRB #

    Am many days late and many dollars short, but I love you and your toes very, very much. Happy birthday, my wonderful friend. XOXO

    April 21, 2016
  13. A very late Happy Birthday to you!!!! I know how clearly it speaks to the fact that I myself am an old fart but I understand your thoughts on closing down the blog. The blog world has changed so much and lost so many people. Understanding, however, would not stop me from becoming inconsolable if you do.

    April 22, 2016
  14. Ana #

    Happy belated birthday. I was just thinking about how much unnecessary existential dread I have about my own toes turning 40 in a month…good to see this perspective. I feel similarly about blogging sometimes. But some of us would dearly miss you!

    April 25, 2016
  15. Happy birthday! And sorry I missed it until now.

    (I’d be so sad if you stopped blogging fwiw. Your stories are brilliant. You are brilliant, the best company.)

    May 5, 2016

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