A post like the things you find under the sofa cusion
Can someone make a breast pump that cries? It could even allow a mama to record her own baby’s cry for playback. It should get progressively louder and more frantic (like one of those alarm clocks). Because the sound of crying would definitely help me remember to fucking pump. As it is, I am always jumping like a startled rat and thinking SHIT! MUST PUMP AGAIN! And the My Angry PumpTM would probably help with letdown and all that, too. Please send me my million dollars immediately, Medela.
Mr. Bunny says this idea is “half baked”.
Pitty got mad and gave me a yeast infection and then another period about three days later. What do you mean, vaginal pH is not the pituitary’s job? You think it was just a coincidence? PLEASE.
The journal that made me wait a year for a review and then rejected my paper now wants me to review a paper for them. I vacillate between wanting to petulantly say NO, and thinking it’s a paper I need to read anyway so I should suck it up. After all, the authors had nothing to do with my bad experience. But in addition to my yucky feelings about the journal, one of the authors is someone I hate. I know, what grown ass tenured person bothers hating people. Except…she’s a mean girl. I feel like academia really has no room for mean girls. We’re all supposed to be kind-hearted nerds! Perhaps best I not review this, eh? Single blind reviews are stupid, and single blind reviewing a paper from someone you hate is even stupider. Saying yes and then waiting a year to send my review is tempting, but not actually something I’d consider, because I’m a kind-hearted nerd.
Yesterday Bun Bun and I were inspecting the peas we planted. The peas are up and thriving, but oddly there is no sign of the asparagus. I explained to Bun Bun that it’s weird because asparagus is always first. She said Maybe the asparagus needs to learn that it doesn’t always get to be first and that sometimes the peas get to be first. It’s so sweet and yet so bizarre to hear my moralizing little lessons coming out of someone else’s mouth.